


Love You In the Dark

by Skadisdottir



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Implied abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:08:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26740093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skadisdottir/pseuds/Skadisdottir
Summary: After an outburst in the bullpen by JJ's cousin, Reader, Aaron Hotchner finds himself infatuated with a woman half his age.((Any Hotch girls out there?))
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

There was an uncomfortable tension in the air as Hotch walked into the BAU that morning, but the source of that tension was not immediately obvious to him as he weaved his way around the desks to his office. He made his way to Morgan, who was eyeing the same door Aaron was. “What’s going on?” He demanded quietly, Morgan already sensing his presence. 

“JJ’s talking to some girl in your office.” His brow furrowed and he glanced up to where the blinds were only slightly open. “They’ve been in there for a good half hour, and from the volume, I’d say it isn’t just a friendly chat.” He tapped the pen in his hand against the opposite knuckles as a bitter sounding laugh came from the door despite it being closed. 

Aaron tried to read what was happening in the room, but he couldn’t tell who JJ was speaking to, only her back was visible to him, and the other girl was hidden behind the wood of the door. JJ’s voice was level, the only indication there was any sour words being spoken at all came from the other side.There was a sudden silence which caused all the gathered agents to look up, just as the door banged open. 

“Go fuck yourself, Jen.” The young woman hissed, furiously wiping at her eyes as she left, thinking that no one would see her. She went pale when she looked up, seeing about 20 sets of eyes on her. “The fuck are you looking at?!” Her voice broke as she said the words, so all heat behind them was lost and no one took the threat personally. None, that is, but JJ. Who rushed out behind the girl calling her name. 

“Wait!” She called, but the girl had already stormed away from her, and pushed her way out the doors of the BAU, B-lining for the stairs instead of the elevator. Hotch moved in instantly, cutting JJ off, the frantic look on her face worrying him. 

“JJ, wait.” She paused, looking up to him with hurt in her eyes. “Who is that?” 

“My Cousin.” She sniffed, wiping at her eyes. “(Y/n).” She supplied when he silently asked her. He nodded, turning her towards her desk and pushing her gently to indicate she should sit. There was already a comfort party waiting consisting of Emily and Spencer. Once secured, Hotch turned, his face set in an angry line. He had no idea what the fight was about, but what he did know was that they were both hurt, both grieving, and they needed someone to mediate. 

He hurried off, pulling open the stair doors and following them down to the parking lot level. Just as he opened the door he found the girl hunched, one hand on the side of a parked car, her shoulder heaving in heavy sobs. She was hyperventilating. All anger forgotten, he rushed forward, bending in front of her to show her his face as he spoke. “Alright, take a breath, come on, let’s sit, that’s it, easy.” He helped her to the ground, her knees not supporting her much longer. 

His heart suddenly ached for her, the fire that he had seen in her eyes in the bullpen had fizzled quickly to just plain old pain. Hotch searched his memory, and then he finally landed on it. JJ had had an uncle die a few weeks prior, that uncle had a 23 year old daughter, (Y/n). He remembered her asking for time off for the funeral, she wasn’t very close to the man, but she was close to his daughter, and she was mainly there for her. He heard the breathing beside him start to level out, and devolve into sobs, and then quiet hiccups. He had joined her on the ground, letting her work herself through the emotions, and his arms were braced on his knees as he sat there, staring ahead. 

Every fatherly instinct he had was screaming at him to grab her and hold her until the shaking stopped, but he didn’t want to overstep, and something he could do for JJ might be too much for her, so he waited. 

“I’m sorry.” There it was. 

“For what?”

“For yelling at you, and your staff.” She said quietly. He smirked and shook his head. 

“They’ve had worse.” He said with a laugh, remembering his own brother knocking him down a peg in front of the BAU. 

“I’m not like that, I swear.” she tried again, using her long sleeves to wipe angrily at the tears that refused to stop. Aaron sighed, reaching into his pocket for the napkins he always kept on him, just in case, and handed her one. She thanked him quietly and blew her nose.

“I know.” She looked to him, confused. 

“You know?” He nodded, smiling slightly. “How?”

“That’s what I do: I read people. Did JJ never tell you that?” He was trying to bring the conversation back to the issue at hand, she noticed, but it seemed less like a live wire and more like a sore nerve. 

“She mentioned it.” She said quietly, a small smile on her face, but then it dropped a moment, before being replaced by a curious one. “What did you read about me?” 

Aaron looked at her a moment, watching her carefully, she had deep bags under her eyes, she hadn’t slept in a while. Her eyes were red rimmed, and puffy, but more irritated to have been only from this outburst. Her hands were torn to pieces, like she bit them often. He sighed. “You’re grieving.” She froze, but her eyes filled with what little tears she had left and she looked away. “And you feel betrayed.” He continued, resting his head back on the car, giving her privacy as he looked away. 

“I have no one left.” She said tearfully, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“You have JJ.” He said, turning to face her. “And Will. And Henry.” He added. 

“Not anymore.” She replied bitterly, turning her face fully away from him. Just as she did, the garage door opened, revealing the Blonde woman searching frantically around the lot for her lost cousin. 

“I wouldn’t say that.” He replied nodding to JJ once as he began to stand. (Y/n) looked up in confusion, then she quickly stood, rushing to her feet and stumbling as she wrapped her arms around JJ, who only buried her head in her shoulder and held her tightly. 

JJ’s head lifted from her shoulder, kissing the side of her head before she mouthed ‘thank you’ to Aaron, who only nodded, adjusting his jacket as he walked past them, returning to the BAU.

*~*~*

I felt horrible. JJ had forgiven me, which was so much more than I deserved in the first place after the shit I had pulled, not only was she there for me for the funeral, but she also opened her home to me, and I had thrown it all in her face. So I did the only thing I knew I could do right: deep clean her house while Will and Henry were on some father/son trip and JJ was on a case. That was all I could do really, I wasn’t good at apologies, I never could get it right, so I did things instead. 

Her laundry was done and put away, which I knew would bother her if she came home to find the three loads still sitting there. I had fixed a creaking door (it really only needed a screw tightened) and I had found any project I could to say sorry. I had even bought her a thing of flowers, but decided instead of having it at her home where she really wouldn’t enjoy it, I would bring it to her office. 

The receptionist recognized me, and with a nod and a smile, she allowed me to take the elevator up to the 6th floor, the badge on my chest allowing me to traverse the halls without issue. Obviously within reason. The office was quiet, which was expected, it was a Saturday, and so I slipped in and in doing so tripped the motion sensor lights, making me jump until I realized two things: one, no one had ‘caught’ me doing anything, the lights had turned on on their own. And Two, I wasn’t doing anything, so why was I jumpy? 

Well, it was the FBI, I felt like I was always being watched, which of course, I was. I scanned the desks, spotting the one with the framed picture of JJ and Will at their wedding and made my way to it. I placed the vase down, and adjusted the sunflowers in such a way that it looked marginally better than it had considering it had suffered a trip in my car. I then reached into my bag and pulled out a bag of Cheetos, laying them on the desk before I grabbed a sticky note and scribbled a quick “I suck. I’m sorry :(“ on it, and pressed it into the tin of the bag. 

I took a step back, admiring my work, and ran right into a solid body. “Jesus fuck!” I yelped, turning around to identify my ‘assailant’ and was met instead with the face of JJ’s boss, one eyebrow in his hairline as he watched me. “Oh… uhhm.. Sorry, sir.” 

His face softened. “(Y/n), what are you doing here?” His eyes slid to the vase on the table and then to the note, his face softened even further. “Oh.” 

“I… I’m sorry. I.. the receptionist-” I stopped, not wanting to throw her under the bus. “Is it okay that I’m here?” 

He took a step back, allowing me more space and he folded his arms over his chest, shrugging slightly. “Normally you need an escort, but considering it’s an off day…” He trailed off slightly, then looked me over, once more reading me like he did before. “JJ isn’t angry with you.” He said suddenly, and I felt the air rush out of me. 

“I appreciate that, but I know she is. I’ve been rotten to her the last few weeks, and all she’s done is try to help me.” I crossed my own arms over my chest, looking to the ground shamefully. 

He sighed, and it was at this moment I saw his badge. Aaron Hotchner... what a nice name. “JJ knows that you are going through something that very few people understand, you probably scarcely understand it yourself-” I scowled. 

“My Dad died of cancer Mr. Hotchner. What is there about that I don’t understand?” I retorted defensively. He didn’t respond, only looked at me in what can only be considered a ‘watch your mouth’ type of look and I paled. “Sorry.” I said quickly. 

“Grief makes us irrational, it makes us do and say things we never normally would.” His eyes looked far away, distant. “But as long as we recognize that, and try to learn from it,” He returned at that moment, his eyes meeting mine again. “We will find that the only person we are trying to get forgiveness from is ourselves.” 

I looked back to the flowers and cheetos, a small smile on my face. “So… should I not leave the cheetos or?” He laughed, genuinely at that. 

“I’m sure they’ll be appreciated,” he turned his hand, bringing the watch face on the inside of his wrist up to read it. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.” I nodded, waiting for him to grab his briefcase from where he left it on the desk beside him before stepping forward and walking in front of him to the elevator. 

The question that was nagging at me for the longest time, but I kept pushed down out of respect weaseled it’s way to my mind again and before I could stop it I had already asked. “Who did you lose?” I said suddenly once the doors had closed. The uncomfortable silence that stretched for no more than a second felt like years and I quickly tried to recover. “I’m sorry that’s none of my-” 

“My wife.” He said quietly, there was a sadness in his voice, but there was something else: Acceptance. I shifted awkwardly on my feet, clearing my throat. 

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t look at him, but I felt him watching me out of the corner of his eye. He read my question in my body language, answering it without me having to ask. 

“She was murdered.” I stiffened. Fuck. How could I possibly respond to that in a way that was sensitive?

“So was my mom.” Shit. Nope. Not like that. It was his turn to feel uncomfortable, but not in the way that people normally did, but like this was new information he wasn’t expecting. 

“JJ never said anything-” I shrugged. 

“My dad remarried. It happened when I was 10. I don’t really remember it, we don’t talk about it. My Step mom made him distance himself from the family afterwards, I really only kept in touch with JJ. She was all I had, and I was all she had.” I cleared my throat, the bell of the elevator dinging a welcome distraction. 

“Did they catch who did it?” I nodded, and he did as well. 

“Did you?” He looked at me, confused. “Did you catch the one who killed your wife?” His face hardened, but he nodded. I left it at that, I could tell this wasn’t something that he was willing to talk about with me. 

He walked me out of the building, leading me to my car. Once situated in my seat, he knocked on the far window, and I rolled it down. He handed me a card, and I turned it over to see a phone number scrawled on the back. “If you ever need to talk to someone, someone that isn’t JJ, give me a call. Anytime.” I smiled, tucking the card into my wallet and nodding to him. 

“Thank you, Mr. Hotchner.” 

“Aaron.” I nodded, a comfortable silence spreading between us before he straightened, and stepped away from the side of my car. I rolled up the window, my music beginning to play as I reversed and pulled away, watching him grow smaller in the rear view mirror. 

*~*~*

There was something to be said about coincidences. I believed the age old adage, that ‘The Universe is never so lazy as to allow for them’. So when I was on my morning jog and I ran into Aaron Hotchner, or more like, was lapped for the second time, I began believing the conspiracy theory that the FBI was always watching. I smirked, realizing he had stopped in front of me, checking his watch for his time as I jogged up behind him. 

I must have looked a treat, my face was red and sweaty, my hair in my face, sticking at unattractive angles, my running shirt an old cast shirt from a musical I had been in in high school, and the shoes I was absolutely sure were not actually meant for running, but I had liked the colours so I had bought them. Actually, the chance he recognized me at all was slim, regardless, I planted my hands on my hips, cocking my head as I walked up and gripped the bar beside him, using it to stretch my legs as a cool down. “Are you following me, Aaron?” I teased, my words coming out in pants as I tried to catch my breath. I wasn’t a great runner, hell I wasn’t even an okay runner, but I promised Will I would run a 5K with him and by god if I was going to let him cross before me. 

Aaron seemed at first on high alert, then confused, and then he relaxed when he realized it was me. I shot him a smirk over my shoulder and he shrugged. “I guess I could ask you the same thing.” I paused, case in point. 

“Well if you must know I’m training to win a 5K.” I replied proudly and he nodded, but I could see the sarcastic comment brewing under the surface. “What.” I deadpanned, glaring at him slightly. 

“No nothing, just… if memory serves me, I lapped you twice and that was my warm up so…” He trailed off and I scoffed glaring at him. 

“Oh that’s how it’s gonna be?” He laughed, nodding turning away from me to look down the lane where others were jogging or biking. 

“I mean you could run with me if you wanted, if you’re not too tired.” The invitation was innocent enough, and I thanked the gods that I was already red from my own workout that it hid the unexpected blush that painted my features. Luckily, I was able to hide my true emotions from his scrutiny. 

“Oh well, you know,” I stammered. “I don’t want to over exert myself- risk losing all the progress I’ve made. Today was a light day.” I lied, but I from the grin on my face, and the smile on his it was easy to see right through it. 

“Of course. Well, next time then?” I nodded, smiling gently. 

“Yea, next time.” He checked his watch once more and with a dip of his head and a smile, he did a little hop step and then took off down the lane, his jog looking very much like my sprint. I was out of breath just watching him. Hands on my waist, I shook my head incredulously. “Men.” I said with a scoff, before making my way back to the parking lot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just can't catch a break. 
> 
> ((I am very unsure about this story, I'm not really used to writing Hotch but this idea has been bugging me for a while, so we'll see how it goes. Also, I have an account on Wattpad, same name, go give it some love?))

“(Y/n)?” I looked up from where I was sitting on the porch, sipping a cup of tea as I stared off into space. Will was standing in the doorway and I tilted my head in response. “Uhm… listen, I just got a message on the house phone… someone named ‘Arnie’?” My face went pale and he absolutely noticed. “Is there something we should know?” I shook my head, clearing my throat. 

“He’s a guy from back home. That’s weird he called you, I’ll give him a call in a bit.” I was panicking, trying to figure out how to explain this to him in a way that wasn’t about to earn me another skinning from JJ. 

“(Y/n).” He drawled, I knew him long enough to know that he didn’t believe a word I was saying, and I shifted uncomfortably. “You can talk to me.” He added, coming to sit in the chair on the opposite side of me. I stubbornly stared straight ahead. There was an uncomfortably long silence that passed between us, and I indignantly didn’t look at him, even when he called my name again. “JJ don’t have to know.” My heart went cold. Will would never lie to JJ, and he would never keep something from her, him even offering was enough to get me to trust him. 

“I owe him a lot of money, he helped pay for the funeral, and dad’s hospice care.” I gripped the cup tightly. “I told him I’d pay him when I had the money but I don’t, and he wants it.” I blinked a few times. 

“How much?” I shook my head, embarrassed. “How much, (Y/n)?” he insisted and I swallowed. 

“He wants $1,500 a month. I owe him about $25,000.” I stared at my reflection in the tea. I heard will blow out air from his nose, and run a hand through his hair. 

“That’s a lot of money, (Y/n).” I felt rage build in me. 

“Yea I know that, thanks Will.” I snapped, then I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. “Sorry.” 

He waved a hand, brushing me off. If anyone was going to be used to people blowing up in his face, it was the ex-detective seated beside me. “Lemme guess, he wants it in cash?” I nodded. This is bad, and a shitty situation, but it was my reality and I needed to deal with it. “I’m guessin’ that’s why you got so mad at JJ offering move you here. You didn’t want us getting mixed up in it.” I nodded again, feeling guilty. 

“More like I didn’t want JJ finding out I had taken money from him at all.” Will paused, trying to find his next words carefully. 

“Who is he, (Y/n)?” I looked away from him, ashamed. He didn’t need to figure out any more. I had had a rough past, no doubt he had heard about some of it from JJ, whatever the case, he knew now, and he could put two and two together. “Well, I can spot you the $1,500 this month, at least get him off your case, we can figure this out alright?” I didn’t look at him, but nodded, and he stood without another word, returning a few moments later with a small envelope. He didn’t make me look at him, he just placed it in my lap. “There’s two in there. Maybe he’ll be more forgivin’ if he sees you paid extra.” I nodded, and then he let me be. The moment I heard the door slide closed behind him, I buried my head into my hand, silent sobs shaking my shoulders, the weight of the world weighing down on me. 

*~*~*

JJ stared out the window of the plane, sighing deeply. The back to back cases didn’t give her enough time to spend with her cousin, and she felt horrible knowing that there was so much guilt building in her chest that she felt the need to do everything she could to make it up to her. She wasn’t angry, far from it, she understood. The last three months of (Y/n)’s father’s sickness were horrific. She had pulled herself out of college in her last semester to take care of him, her step mother having taken off once the diagnosis became terminal, leaving everything on (Y/n)’s shoulders at just 23. 

Luckily there had been money left over from her biological birth mother’s murder trial that she could afford the pricey end of life care and the funeral. JJ had offered to help, but she had refused. “If you can’t do it yourself you shouldn’t be doing it at all.” she had said, which only made JJ even more sad. Her stepmother had been a witch of a woman, sending (Y/n) off to a girls military academy for ‘disturbed girls’ at 13. Luckily her father was able to snap out of it and get her back by her 16th birthday, but she was never the same. And she didn’t talk about the school very often, when she did, she would shut down and refuse to speak for the rest of the evening. 

It didn’t take a profiler to realize that something had happened that scarred her for life. She had gotten mixed up with the wrong people, and a brief stint in juvie knocked some sense into her. That was when she reached back out to JJ and they reconnected. It was a slow process, getting the young girl to open up to her, but JJ was determined to show her she wasn’t as alone as she felt. 

Hotch sitting across from her brought JJ back to the present, and she blinked a few times, smiling tiredly at him. “How’s (Y/n) doing?” He asked quietly, opening the case file in front of him. He would never admit it to anyone, not even himself, but for the last week whenever his mind drifted it landed on (Y/n). He told himself continuously that he wasn’t thinking about her for any other reason than concern. He was absolutely not thinking about a woman half his age in any other way than a protector. Absolutely not. 

“She’s doing better. I came home on Sunday to my entire home being cleaned within an inch of it’s life.” She replied sadly. “And a large bag of cheetos.” She added with a small laugh. Aaron couldn’t help but smile slightly. She watched as he opened his mouth to say something, but then closed just as quickly. “You can ask Hotch.” she said quietly, and he sighed. 

“What was the fight about?” It had been bothering him for a week, and he couldn’t tell if it was because he couldn’t figure out what it was, or if he wanted to be the one to fix it. 

“I asked her to come live with me.” JJ replied with a heavy sigh, like she had regretted the choice even now. 

Aaron’s forehead furrowed. “And she said… no? I presume?” JJ nodded.

“(Y/n)’s been through a lot, Hotch. She doesn’t really trust anyone, hell, she barely trusts me.” JJ scoffed bitterly. “Her mother uhm-”

“She told me.” He butted in, the memory obviously painful even though it was so long ago. This surprised JJ and she stared at him with wide eyes. 

“She did?” He nodded. 

“I told her about Haley.” Again, JJ’s eyes went wide. 

“You _did_?” Aaron rolled his eyes and gave her a look. She only smiled. “I should have known you two would get along. You remind me a lot of her.” She added, pulling her legs up to the chair with her. 

“Oh? How so.” He replied almost sarcastically, but in reality he was aching to know. 

“Listen, Hotch, don’t take this the wrong way,” JJ grinned at the face he made but continued. “You’re both broken people, convinced that you have to face the world alone, but you don’t.” She shrugged. “But what do I know? I only grew up with her and work with you.” She gave him a knowing look and he cleared his throat, focusing his attention on the papers in front of him. JJ fell asleep soon after, but he found himself staring at the same page for over an hour, his mind focused only on what JJ had said. 

He didn’t know why he had opened up to the girl about Haley, usually he kept that to himself, at least most of the truth. He would say his wife passed, and people generally left it at that. But something had told him to tell her the truth, so he had. And he didn’t regret it. There was something about how she looked… relieved, almost… when he said it. Like she wasn’t the only one to have experienced loss in the most violent way possible. 

Though from what JJ had said, it implied that maybe she had experienced more at the hands of others than just a murder. Something else he could relate to. He sighed heavily, looking out over his team all of which had finally succumbed to sleep after what felt like four endless days of no rest. 

He closed his eyes, tipping his head back against the chair in hopes that he too could find a few hours to turn off his brain, but of course it just continued to run despite his best efforts. He was able to finally sleep in the last hour of the flight, his mind stilling only when he focused on (Y/n)’s smile when she had run into him at the park. 

*~*~*

“You don’t have to go, (Y/n). You can stay, if you want.” JJ tried one last time as she helped me bring my bag out of the back of the car and set it on the airport walkway. 

“Jen, you know I need to. I have like, 10 credits left and then I have my degree. If I finish this accelerated course and get my paper in on time, I’m home free.” I smiled, tilting my head as I watched my cousin try to keep her emotions at bay behind that mask. “What is it?” 

“I just hate that you’re going back to that big old house all alone.” She said finally, her voice breaking slightly. The house had been the one I grew up in in Denver, and I didn’t really have the heart to tell her that it was already on the market. 

“I’m not going back to the house, Jayge.” I replied with a small smile, using the nickname of her nickname fondly. “I’m going back to my apartment, Jade is there, it will be fine!” Jade had graduated this Spring, and we were well into October but JJ didn’t need to know that. 

“Promise you’ll call when you get home?” I nodded, wrapping my arm around her neck as I grabbed my bag from the floor. 

“I promise. And thank you, for everything.” I said, my way of apologizing. Will caught my eye from where he was leaning against the side of the car, his arms folded over his chest. To anyone who didn’t know him, you would think he was standoffish or rude, but he was just watching… always making sure he knew more about the people around us than they knew about him. “Thank you too, Will.” I added, and he just nodded his head once. He hadn’t mentioned the money again, but it was a silent promise between us, and so far he had kept up his side of the agreement. 

I waved to them both, then hurried inside the airport and rushing to security. I looked over my shoulder one more time and they were already pulling away from the gate. I sighed sadly, kind of hoping they would wait until I was through the line, but JJ had to work, and Henry would be waking up any time now.I checked my watch, it was just after 5:30 am. The people around me shuffled like zombies and I was already itching for my first of many coffees for the day. I dutifully found my place in the line and hobbled forward, the process feeling very familiar and foreign at the same time. 

*~*~*

Will had just pulled into the exit lane for the highway when JJ finally spoke. “Do you think she’s going to be okay?” 

Will stiffened imperceptibly beside her. “She’s a strong girl JJ, she’ll be fine.” He replied calmly, though his own mind had been asking the same question for the better part of the week since she had told him about Arnie.

“I know, but you remember how she was at the funeral. She was like a brick wall, the only indicator that she felt anything at all was when they closed the casket and she had to excuse herself.” JJ huffed, pulling her hair into a ponytail nervously. 

“You of all people should know that everyone deals with grief differently. She’s like you in that way, you both hide it away.” He was right, of course, and JJ hated when he was right.

“I just don’t want her to think she’s alone.” Will sighed, looking away from the road for a moment to take JJ’s hand and bring it to his lips to kiss gently. 

“She knows, and the best thing for us to do right now is be there if and when she calls.” JJ nodded, gripping his hand tightly in thanks. Will felt horrible, knowing that he was holding back information that she deserved to know, but with how she was right now, all it would do is worry her, so he kept quiet, taking out his anxiety on the steering wheel by gripping it a bit tighter than he needed to. 

*~*~*

A week had gone by and there were no new cases. It was maddening, though Aaron would never show it, he was itching to get out in the field because each hour he had in his office alone was another hour that his mind had drifted to (Y/n). He had given up trying to reason that he was only thinking of her like a protector, that had been abandoned when his mind had drifted to her during a morning shower. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat to clear the shameful memory from his mind. There was a brisk knock on the door, and part of him felt like he had been caught, but he knew it was impossible, so he straightened his tie and projected his voice. “Come in.” 

Dave pushed open the door, giving Aaron a once over. He relaxed, leaning back in his chair as the older man took a seat across from him and folded his hands over his chest. “You look like hell.” Was all he said, which only caused Aaron to roll his eyes. 

“Thanks Dave.” He replied sarcastically, returning his attention to the file in front of him.

“Have you texted her?” Aaron paused, his eyes flicking up to Rossi’s. “I’ll take that as a no.” 

“She’s half my age Dave.” Aaron replied, his eyes flicking to the windows despite it being irrational to think that anyone could hear the conversation. 

“I’m not saying you need to marry the girl, but-” The look that was thrown his way was poison and Dave had the good sense to rephrase. “All I’m saying, is you deserve some fun.” 

“She’s gone back to Colorado anyway.” Dave opened his mouth to speak, but there was another knock on the door and Penelope popped her head in. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but we have a case.” Aaron felt his shoulders sag with relief. A welcome distraction from the conversation at hand. 

“Where?” 

“Colorado SpringsC.” If Dave could have laughed, he would have. Instead he just smirked and pat the chair as he stood up. 

“Thank you Penelope, we’ll be right there.” He dismissed her with a nod and she turned. “Dave.” Aaron said stiffly, making Dave stop in place. “Not a word.” 

“Trust me, I won’t say a thing.” The tone was honest, but the smirk on his face made Aaron uneasy. He gave him a pleading look and Dave just sighed. “Aaron.” Was his only reply, which was enough to calm the man down. He gathered his things, retrieving his suit jacket from the back of his chair and slipping it on. The two of them made it to the round table just as Penelope was turning on the slides. 

“Alright crime fighters, we are taking a little jaunt to the mile high city to visit our boys in Air Force blue.” She clicked the slide and delved into a case about a top secret file of cadet information being stolen off a computer. It seemed more like cyber crimes to Aaron, but he let the case continue, realizing sooner rather than later that it was more their area when student information was being leaked to the public. 

“Wheels up in thirty.” 

*~*~*

I always felt light headed when I returned to Denver from anywhere else in the nation, but this time it was for an entirely different reason. “(Y/n).” My heart felt like lead in my chest. 

“Marcus!” I said with mock happiness. “How did you know I was-”

“Shut up, and get in the car. Arnie wants to see you.” He opened the door to the large car and I eyed it nervously. 

“I have his money, I can-” I dug my hand into the pocket where I had stashed the envelope, producing it with anxious hope. 

“I said get in the car, (Y/n).” I felt the cold steel of the knife on my side from one of the henchmen I hadn’t seen come up behind me. My mouth went dry and I swallowed hard before nodding, and shakily climbing into the back of the car, followed quickly by the rest of the group of men. 

The ride was probably only a few short miles, but I felt like I was being taken miles from home, with no hope of ever returning. My mind morbidly turned to the weather forecast. We were expecting the first of many days of snow, so really all they would have to do is drop me in the woods and forget about me. I’d be lost by nightfall and dead by dawn. But then Arnie would never get his money, so if anything, they couldn’t kill me.. Yet. 

When we pulled up to the all too familiar cabin looking home, I felt bile rise in my throat. Arnie, a tall thin, menacingly ordinary man was standing on the deck, watching us, moreover, watching _me_ as I climbed out of the car. “There she is! My favourite girl.” The words were innocent enough, but there was a warning behind them. ‘I own you’. 

“Arnie!” I replied with the same fake enthusiasm that Marcus saw right through. Luckily for me, though, it was exactly what Arnie wanted. “I was going to call you when I got home. I uhm… I have your money!” I waved the file and he made a big scene of indicating to the men gathered around him. 

“Would you look at that! See I told you we didn’t need to worry.” He turned back to me, the seeming kindness gone from his eyes. “Why don’t you bring it up to me.” My legs felt like jello, but I obeyed, climbing the stairs and depositing it in his hands as he sat in one of the many lavish chairs that adorned the redwood deck. 

As I turned to give him space, he gripped my hip, pulling me down to sit on the couch with him, my legs up over his lap. I daren’t say anything, just painted on a sweet innocent smile and tried to pretend the rage I felt in my chest was actually infatuation with him as I gave him the biggest doe eyes I could. “There’s $2,000 in there, just to prove to you that I’m gonna be good for it the other 23.” 

“You mean the other 28.” I felt my blood go cold, which only served to egg him on. “You owe me interest.” I wanted to cry. There was no way I was going to make the 23 I owed him, let alone any interest I might accrue to get it to him. “Of course I would consider letting you work it off.” I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping out the words I so badly wanted to say, and he so badly wanted me to scream at him to give him any excuse to beat the shit out of me. There was nothing saying he wouldn’t do it anyway, excuse or not. 

“I don’t do that anymore.” I chose my words carefully. “I cleaned up.” 

“You did clean up. And then you came begging me for money, and here you are, on my lap once again.” It took everything in me not to point out that he had pulled me here against my will, but instead I just sat up straighter, my eyes scanning over the men surrounding me. 

It made me sick to do it, but I circled my finger around the exposed skin of his chest, playing with the necklace that hung there, my fingers brushing over the gold cross on the end of the chain. “Is there nothing else I can do to get you to be nice to me?” I said in my most liquid gold voice I could. He didn’t budge, so I sucked in a breath, bracing myself as I straddled over his hips, settling over him as I bit my lip. “Come on Arnie….” He nodded to his men, and I heard them all taking their leave, a few postin up inside the door just in case. 

His hands then slithered to my waist and I suppressed a shiver. “Yea, I guess there might be a few things you could do.” I felt relief flood me, and I lifted my hips to start rocking against him, but instead of his hands rubbing circles into my hips like he always did, I found one gripping the back of my head, and the other pressed the knife he always kept on him to the front of my neck. I sat impossibly still, my eyes wide as I tried not to swallow, the blade already causing a burning pain from where it had nicked me. “You could get me. My fucking money.” 

“I don’t… I don’t have it. I can… I can’t.” I tried but he just brushed the hand in my hair over the back of my head, shushing me as if he wasn’t the reason for my sudden panic. 

“That, or you come back and work for me, get this job done and we call it even.” I closed my eyes, hating myself for what I was about to do. 

“Okay!” I said, my voice breaking. “Okay.” 

“Good girl. Now listen closely.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiding things from Aaron Hotchner is about as impossible as it sounds.

“This is Lieutenant Colonel McCarthy, Sir, Agent Hotchner and his team from the Behavioural Analysis Unit at Quantico.” The captain introduced Aaron to the Dean of the Air Force Academy, and he extended his hand, shaking the much older man’s hand firmly. 

“Colonel, we will do whatever we can to find who is leaking this information and return some privacy and safety to your students.” The colonel seemed disturbed, but other than the slight hurry in his voice and tension in his shoulders, you would never be able to tell anything at all was wrong. 

JJ walked up beside him, Morgan just off her shoulder. “The campus is on lockdown, correct Colonel?” the man huffed and nodded, which the team was quickly coming to understand was about the most you would get out of him unless pressed further. They didn’t mind though, the two of them spreading out to start their task of interviewing the students whose information had been stolen. Hotch watched them go, then motioned Reid over, introducing him to the Colonel. 

“Colonel, this is Doctor Spencer Reid, he is going to need access to all information on the students that was breached, that includes paper and digital copies.” Colonel McCarthy nodded to the Captain who dipped his head and motioned for Reid to follow him. “Colonel, is there anywhere we could get together to speak?” He nodded once more and Hotch followed him to his office, happy that for once, all he could think about was the case, and not how he was less than an hour from (Y/n). 

*~*~*

JJ’s invitation to join the team for dinner came as such a surprise that I had agreed to meet her before even considering how I looked. I had bruises littering most of the way around my abdomen, and there was a cut on my nose. I was lucky it wasn’t broken. No, Arnie was better than that. Nothing that I would need to be seen for, just enough to hurt for a while. He got a bit carried away though, even he would have to admit that the sucker punch to the nose was uncharacteristic of him. 

All because I had talked back. I should have known better. I wasn’t done until he said I was done, and I wasn’t done, I guess. But I had already agreed, and if I had called back and said no, she would have driven out here to see why, or if anything to drop me off something to eat. So I was stuck. An hour later, I was dressed nicely in a pair of leggings and a nice blouse. It was flowy enough that I wouldn’t hurt my bruises, and yet tight enough that it didn’t look like I was hiding anything. I wore a jacket from my university acting troupe’s annual show and did my hair and makeup casually. We weren’t going anywhere very nice, but I always hated being underdressed. 

The makeup also helped cover what little bruising on my nose was still visible. You would only be able to tell if you were staring intently at my face, so I was safe. I didn’t live too far from the restaurant, so in the light snow that was falling I walked down the main street and hurried into the doors as the wind picked up, throwing my hair around me wildly. My face was tinted red from the cold, but I loved it. 

JJ spotted me first, and waved excitedly. I smiled, rushing over to her and wrapped her in a hug. She introduced me to the rest of the team, and I took my seat at the end of the table on the opposite side of the table from JJ and Aaron. He smiled politely at me and I returned it, taking my jacket off and putting it on the back of the chair. The man to my left, across from JJ was a man named Spencer. He seemed young, probably not much older than me, but he joked easily with JJ and the rest of the team and I realized quickly that this was the man who JJ had named Henry’s Godfather. He was a perfect fit. 

I felt eyes on me, and when I turned to find where they were coming from, I locked eyes with Aaron. His face was a stern line, and I felt my heart drop. Did he see the bruise? Would he say anything? I pleaded with him in my mind to not say anything, and luckily the waiter drew his attention long enough for me to hurriedly look at the menu and order not only my meal but a strong drink. I would need it to get through the night. Who knew dinner with five FBI Agents would be so anxiety inducing? Everyone, (Y/n). Everyone. 

All was going well until I excused myself to use the bathroom, only to find that when I came out, Aaron was waiting for me. He blocked the door that led out of the hallway the bathrooms were located in and when he saw me, he pinned me down with a serious look. “What happened.” He demanded, and I felt myself shrinking under his gaze. 

“I fell. There was a patch of ice by my door and I fell into the railing. I’m fine, just a bump.” I said with practiced ease. He read through it faster than even I was expecting and with just a small tilt of his head and a serious look he warned me to try again. “I’m fine, Aaron.” I replied nervously. 

“I’m not asking you again, there’s a reason I’m speaking to you alone and not in front of the rest of the team. You can either be honest with me here, or out there.” My mouth went dry and I bounced on my toes, anxiously shifting my weight as I warred with myself. I decided my energy was better spent on just telling the truth than trying to spin a lie to a man whose entire paycheck relied on him being able to see through it. 

“I made a mistake, got hit for it, and now it’s over.” That was a lie, but I wished so badly for it to be the truth that it was what came out. Aaron’s face became harder and he gave me a serious look. 

“How bad is it.” Again, not a question, but a demand. I sighed, looking behind him before pushing open the family bathroom and locking the door behind us. I turned away from him, lifting up my shirt to expose the black and blue marks that had faded to yellow with time. I heard him suck in a breath and then I dropped my shirt, turning back to him.

“Please don’t tell Jennifer. She’ll only worry.” His face contorted in an incredulous scoff. 

“Should she?” I shook my head indignantly. 

“I’ll handle it.” I replied seriously. 

“That isn’t an answer.” He retorted, taking a small step towards me. I held my ground, staring him down with all the confidence I didn’t have. 

“It’s the one you’re getting.” His eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Excuse me?” All the air left my lungs at that but I held firm, trying not to show him just how much his tone had gotten to me. 

“Leave it alone, Aaron.” I snapped which I suppose was the last straw for him because when he moved forward, the energy alone had me taking a few nervous steps back until my back met the wall. 

“First of all, you watch your attitude. Second of all, while I’m working, it’s Agent Hotchner to you. Do you understand me?” It felt like there was no air in that small bathroom, and the biting late fall cold was non existent. His dark eyes stared me down, and I felt so small in front of him, but in all the best ways. I wasn’t hard to see that he was a commanding, dominant personality, I mean, just look at his job, but seeing the switch between the stiff, if not endearing man from the park to this… other him, was intoxicating. _What was I_ thinking _? He was twice my age!_ I could do a lot worse. 

“Yes, sir.” The words seemed to break something in him and he cleared his throat, taking a step back from me and brushed a hand over his hair. He nodded, then turned and left the bathroom without another word. I stood there for another few moments, catching my breath before I followed him out. He was already back at the table when I left the hallway, and it looked like nothing had happened, he was already picked up in a conversation with the other older man on the team, the rest of the team had already left. 

“Hey kid, the team got called back to the station, JJ said you live close by?” I nodded, grabbing my jacket and pulling it over my shoulders.

“Uhm.. Yea, I just live down the street.” I replied to the man, Rossi, before I pulled my arms over myself, uncomfortable to be left with people I really didn’t know well. 

“How did you get here?” Aaron asked, noticing my lack of car keys. 

“I walked.” I replied, not looking at him. The older men looked to each other, seemingly having a silent conversation. 

“We’ll drive you home.” Aaron said with finality as Rossi had already begun walking towards the door. 

“That’s okay I-” Aaron paused, giving me a look I was quickly coming to realize was the look he gave when he was tired of my shit and just expected me to do as I was told. “Thank you.” He nodded, then motioned for me to lead the way and I did, hurrying my steps to catch up with the other man, the tension too much to bear on my own. 

*~*~*  
The case came to a frustrating half-end. They had found whoever was selling the information and leaking what turned out to be the cadets who had taken part in a Hazing scandal many years previous. But they had never figured out who had stolen the information in the first place, nor how they broke into the Academy which was in all aspects, a highly contained military institution. The team took the win though, the Air Force Judicial court deciding an internal investigation was more appropriate, which they all knew meant they would rather the issue go away than to have outsiders poking around in the Air Force’s business. 

There was one thing that Aaron had to do before he returned to the hotel to sleep before their flight later that evening, and as he climbed the stairs up to (Y/N)’s apartment, he was trying again and again to find the right words. Every time he thought he had them, he would find something else wrong with it and have to start over. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of her door, the fall themed wreath hanging pleasantly on the metal. 

He raised his hand to knock, only to lower it and clear his throat. He did this three more times before he finally gained the courage to knock fully. But just as his knuckles were about to connect with the door, it swung open revealing a confused and nervous (Y/n). 

*~*~*  
“Aaron? I.. I mean.. Agent Hotchner…” He winced and I felt my brow furrow. “What are you doing here? JJ said you guys were leaving.” I was hiding behind the door, mostly because I wasn’t really expecting anyone to be on the other side of the door. I had this feeling in the back of my neck that someone was at my door, but as seconds ticked by and no one knocked, the feeling grew and grew until I had no choice but to open the door. 

I was mostly expecting their to be just an empty hallway, so I hadn’t bothered thinking about what I was wearing, a pair of short sleep shorts and a tank top, of course nothing below it as I was planning on heading to bed soon, so I was hiding behind the metal of the door, staring up at this man I had absolutely not been fantasising about for the last three days. 

“(Y/n).” He paused, he looked like he was trying to find the right words. I took pity on him, opening the door further and smiling softly. 

“Do you want to come in?” He nodded gratefully, probably glad I wasn’t just leaving him on my doorstep to find his train of thought again. Seeing him in my tiny college apartment was so strange. He seemed to fill the normally large room, and as he turned, taking in my space I could see him putting together more and more of my life story. 

I grabbed a sweater off the back of the couch, slipping it over my body quickly to hide whatever you could see through my thin tank. I then crossed my arms over my body, hugging myself. I don’t know what it was about Aaron Hotchner, but I was so self conscious of every move I made, I felt like a lamb stuck in a cage with a lion. 

He sighed, and I nearly jumped. “I wanted to apologize for my behaviour the other night.” He started and I frowned, my stomach feeling heavy. “It was inappropriate and unprofessional.” 

I shook my head. “You were concerned for my safety. You were just doing your job, I don’t blame you.” I smiled, trying to calm his nerves. “I’m not exactly the easiest person to talk to, so trust me I get it.” He half smiled but sighed. 

“I appreciate that, but… that wasn’t me doing my job, that was me letting my emotions get the best of me.” I froze again, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

There was a not uncomfortable, but tense silence that passed between us. “What do you mean?” I tested, taking a step forward. He was hyper aware of my movements, and once again the imagery of a lamb in the lion’s den flashed over my eyes. 

Aaron cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing his hand over his face before he turned back to me. “Since we met I have found that every moment I allow my mind to wander, it finds its way to you. I wonder how you’re doing, what you’re doing….” He sighed, and I smiled almost fondly. 

“Well I’m glad I made such an impression on-” I tried, but he held up a hand and I found myself shutting up instantly, the power he held in just a simple motion was enough to make my knees weak. 

“It started innocently enough, but I..” I felt my heart in my throat, wanting so badly to finish the thought for him, but the truth seemed like it might kill him, so I waited. When he didn’t speak again, I made my way around the coffee table to stand in front of him, dropping my arms to allow for more open body language. 

“Why did you come here, Agent Hotchner.” I said quietly, looking up at him from my shorter height. His eyes, which had been averted until the moment I said his title locked on mine and I felt all the air leave my lungs in one full breath. 

He moved, slowly at first, his hands hesitantly cupping each side of my head as he brought his lips down to hover over mine. Waiting for any sign of refusal from me. There wasn’t any, obviously, because what I hadn’t told him was that not even an hour before I had had to cover my mouth with my hand to quiet the sounds I was making in the shower at imagining something just like this happening. 

I don’t think either one of us wanted to speak for fear of scaring the other, so most everything was simply by touch alone. I pushed the jacket he was wearing off his shoulders and to the ground, the clattering of his Identification badge reminding him there were some things that I probably shouldn’t touch. We pulled apart, and as he reached for the holster on the side of his hip he stared me down. “Take off your sweater.” I crossed my hands over my body and obeyed, pulling the red pull over off and tossed it to the couch where it was quickly forgotten. 

There was a strange turning in my stomach when I watched him place the gun on the table, the realization of what it was hitting me just as he took a step forward. My attention was instantly back on him and when my back hit the wall I let out a quick whine of anticipation. He paused, but when my hands began shakily trying to pull his tie off, he grabbed them in his and they stilled. “Slow down.” He said quietly, and I nodded, taking a steadying breath as he guided them back to the tie. 

I was by no means a blushing virgin, but there was something about the way his body felt under my hands, the heat from his body warming my cold fingers as I felt each breath that filled his lungs. We paused there, the two of us breathing each other’s air for a long few moments. I had no idea how far this was going to go, he seemed as unsure as I did, and neither one of us wanted to go too far. “Should we be doing this?” I asked, swallowing thickly as I felt his hands land heavy on my hips. 

“We don’t have to.” He supplied, both of us breathing a sigh of relief. “If you don’t want to.” 

I shook my head. “No! I.. I do, want to.” I swallowed, blushing deep red as I looked away from him. He tilted my head back up to look at him, and I bit my lip. “I just…”

“What is it?” He asked quietly, his hand moving to a more chaste place higher on my waist, the other still holding my hand. 

“Maybe… maybe we can do this… the right way?” I felt so stupid saying it, but once it was out there, something in the room changed, something for the better. 

“The right way?” He asked, as I played with his tie, if only to give my hands something to do. I saw the corner of his lips quirk up in a smirk and I blushed, nodding. 

“You know… dinner, a movie…” I smirked. “You were a teenager in the 40s right? What did you guys do? Go down to the soda shop?” He didn’t find my joke nearly as funny as I did and he once again gave me that ‘watch your mouth’ look, but he couldn’t hold it for long when I pouted slightly. His face broke into a smile despite his best efforts to look intimidating. 

“Ha ha very funny. But, yes. I would rather we do that then-”

“Fuck in my college apartment two hours before you go back to Virginia and forget all about me?” I said suddenly, my deadpan humour obviously falling flat on him. 

“First of all, watch your language.” I paled, actually feeling guilty for the curse that had dropped from my mouth. “Second of all, did you really think I would come here for a one night stand?” 

It was my turn to be confused at his actually hurt tone. “You… you mean you didn’t?” I saw his face fall as his eyes searched mine, probably trying to find the source of that self hate that was so obviously laced through my words. 

“No.. no of course not.” He stepped back, away from me, and led me to the couch where he sat and held both my hands in his. Without his tie and jacket, he looked less like a stuffy government employee and more like a handsome man. What a 180 from the frat boys I had used to entertain myself these last four years. “I came here to apologize for how I acted, but I had no idea what to say, and I couldn’t think about anything else than kissing you…” the way he ducked his head like he was a teenager talking to the girl he liked was so endearing to me that I actually made a sound of pity. 

“Aaron-” He huffed a laugh, bringing his eyes up to meet mine, and it was probably the first chance I got to actually search his eyes. It made me lose all train of thought, staring into his eyes like that. Instead, I leaned forward tentatively, and he smiled, meeting me halfway for a real, not desperate kiss. Something about the way he held the side of my face, his right hand resting on my knee made my toes curl. 

Of all the people I had kissed before, which was not a small number, I could maybe remember a handful that ever made me feel like I was more than just a body, and when Aaron Hotchner pulled away from me, and our foreheads pressed together as we both tried to catch our breath, that list was replaced with another. 

The list of men that made me feel like I could be loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron left (Y/n)’s apartment about an hour later, and he thought he was masking his emotions exceptionally until he was stopped by a hand on his chest, separating him from the rest of the group as they tiredly shuffled up the steps to the Jet. “Hold it, Hotchner. What’s got you in such a good mood?” He asked knowingly, which only served to aggravate Aaron, and make him roll his eyes. 

“What makes you think I’m in a good mood?” He retorted, already incriminating himself. 

Rossi caught on instantly and gave him a bored look. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you told me that you were going to go to (Y/n)’s apartment to apologize, and with a well timed calculation thanks to our resident genius, you spent about an hour and a half at her place, and you came back with your tie undone and your shirt wrinkled. You’re a profiler Aaron, you figure it out.” He gave him a pointed look and Aaron had to admit that he had him pegged. 

“Nothing happened.” He insisted, but even Rossi had to laugh. “Nothing serious.” He amended, and Rossi nodded, finally allowing Aaron to pass. 

“So what, that’s it? A quickie and then it’s sayonara?” Aaron turned, having only made it a few paces before Dave spoke. 

“First of all, there was no ‘Quickie’.” He used air quotes, offended that the word was even a part of his vocabulary now. “But if you must know, when she comes back to Virginia for the holidays,” He cleared his throat, making as if he was looking down at his watch. “We are going to grab dinner.” 

Rossi made a noise of surprise. “Oh… Dinner…” He elongated each word in a singsong way. Aaron turned from him, making his way up the steps swearing to god that some day he was going to kill his best friend, David Rossi. “And maybe you two can get dessert too.” Aaron’s shoulders stiffened and he shot a look over his shoulder that effectively ended the conversation. Not that he was angry, but he would rather not be talking about his sex life around the team, especially when the girl he was seeing was cousins with one of his team members. “Too far?”

Aaron just gave him a look before turning and making his way down the plane to sit in his seat. 

Halfway through the flight, he stood, walking to the back of the jet to grab a coffee. He wasn’t planning on sleeping for a few more hours yet, and he would rather not have the non sleep that always seemed to be the only thing he could do on the jet, his senses still in work mode until he was safely at home. He heard JJ behind him before she spoke. 

“I wanted to thank you for taking care of (Y/n).” He stiffened, but played it off as if he was rolling his shoulders before he turned, leaning his lower back on the cabinet as JJ poured her own cup of tea. 

“Of course.” He replied, sipping the black liquid calmly. 

“She seemed really receptive to you, I don’t know what it is but she might actually like you.” She teased, and he looked away, down the jet to cover the look of brief panic that he felt. 

“We had a good conversation while you were in California.” He supplied, shrugging noncommittally. “But you’re right.” She blinked, tilting her head in a silent question. “We are both broken people.” She smiled sadly, placing her hand on his bicep before moving past him and returning to the set of chairs and table she was sharing with Reid. 

He remained standing there for some time, slowly drinking his coffee and considering what he had said. He would never want to admit he was broken, but even he had to admit he could see the signs of PTSD in himself, his outburst at the restaurant was proof enough of that. He felt fiercely protective of (Y/n), and that was dangerous.But at the same time, he felt calmer than he had in ages. Instead of Haley’s face filling his mind when he felt lonely, it was her. 

There was no guilt that flashed through his heart when he pictured her smiling, no blood, no gore, no Foyet, just her. He had no idea how in the less than three hours he had really had with her, she had already taken up so much of his mind. There was a kindness in her that you would have to be extremely stubborn not to see. She made it seem like it was natural, like it wasn’t the choice that it was. 

JJ had mentioned that she was a “broken” person, and he initially thought that it was about her mother, but one look around her apartment and he had seen a darker history that he wasn’t really sure he could ever get her to speak about. There were two extra locks on the door, the blinds were closed and tightly secured so as not to allow even the slightest indication anyone was home. Despite this, it was warm and inviting. There were very few people who could make a college block apartment look like a home, but she had somehow managed. 

And then there was the comment, about how she expected him to just come to her apartment at 10 at night, sleep with her and leave. It broke his heart. How far had the next generations gone that this was what she expected of him? More on that, how many times had that happened to her that she wasn’t even considering another option? It didn’t bother him that she had slept with people before, he remembered his own college days, what bothered him was knowledge that interactions like that can chip away at your soul. 

He sighed, pulling out his phone and texting her quickly. 

**Me**  
Are you alright?

He waited, not really expecting an answer, she had mentioned she was going to bed, and it was easily close to three am for her. But when his phone buzzed in response, he once again felt a heavy weight in his chest. 

**Ms. (L/n)**  
I’m okay, I just can’t sleep.

He hated texting, he could never tell someone’s tone, but something in him was screaming that she wasn’t alright. He pushed it down, chalking it up to being paranoid and over protective. 

**Me**  
I’ll be up for a while yet, if you want someone to talk to. 

*~*~*

I stared at the screen, pinching the bridge of my nose and tilting it over the sink to allow the blood to make its way down the drain instead of onto my carpet. I felt guilty lying to him like that, but what could I say? ‘Oh yea I’m fine, my ex-pimps henchman decided it was my fault their buyer got arrested and now I’m trying to figure out if my nose is broken or just a rib.’ 

Marcus must have been watching my apartment, and when Aaron had left he had come busted through the door I had forgotten to lock yelling about me talking to the cops. It wasn’t like it was a secret that JJ was my cousin, Arnie had been at the funeral, he had met her. So I didn’t know why now it was an issue that I had had dinner with her. 

It hadn’t occurred to me that the case she had taken in Colorado Springs was conveniently close to the time I had worked my last job. That was until I watched the press report exposing the buyer. Luckily, nothing could be traced back to me, so I was in the clear. Not that I really did anything, my alibi was that I was a barracks bunny. That was always my alibi. I shivered, disgusted with myself. 

When I had started working for Arnie, I had been in a bad spot, my stepmom had kicked me out for the third time, for absolutely nothing, and my dad had done nothing to stop her, so I was sleeping on whatever couch I could find. I wasn’t being kind to myself, sleeping with whoever would give me a bed for the night

It’s funny, they don’t really tell you that you can hurt yourself in more ways than whatever bullshit they push on middle school kids nowadays. For me it was sleeping around hoping I’d catch something and die. Arnie convinced me with this beautiful line “you’re sleeping around anyway, may as well make some money while you do it.” and the next four years were history. I was 21 when I finally got away from him, then dad got sick, and it all went downhill from there. And here I was, back in his slimy hands. 

I was so angry with myself, and soon the tears mixed with blood in the sink. My nose had stopped flowing, so I stuck a tissue up and washed out the sink, pouring some hydrogen peroxide down for good measure. “I gotta get out of here.” I said to myself in the mirror, staring at my reflection.

__

October passed quickly, and soon we were into November, and I had only heard from Arnie three more times. I was on his good side, and according to my “account” with him, I only have about 5 grand more to pay him. The house had sold, and what didn’t go into paying off the mortgage, and other end of life bills my dad had accrued, I paid off what little loans I had, and then paid Arnie. That 20,000 being chipped away so quickly to 5 grand was like a weight lifted off my shoulders, I was by no means out of the woods, but I would allow myself one extra breath for the time being. Our original deal had fallen through when the buy had been caught, but none of that mattered, because I was packing my bag getting ready to fly back to D.C. to spend the holidays with JJ and Will. 

It was my last semester, and my professors had cancelled exams, deciding instead to ask for papers, which meant that I was done. Finally. I slipped into the leggings I was planning on wearing, and the Harvard sweatshirt that JJ had bought me after a trip to Boston. Stepping into my boots, and pulling on my beanie and scarf, I happily skipped down the steps of my apartment building to the waiting taxi. 

*~*~*

“Hotch! Hotch wait!” Aaron spun around at the frantic calling of his name to see JJ hastily pulling on her coat, a wild look in her eyes. 

“JJ what is it?” He asked, extending a hand to stop her as she tripped over her own feet in her rush. 

“Henry’s school just called me and he’s gotten sick, but I have to go pick up (Y/n) at the airport in an hour.” He turned his head, waiting for her to finish her thought. “Can I please ask you to grab her?” He blinked a few times, taken aback by the request. The team had been released early, a leak in the basement basically knocking out the power to the AFIS system, halting processing of any prints for the day. Which of course, meant that their last case was stalled until they could get the copy of the records from a cold case. So they went home to get some much needed rest before they were whisked away again. 

He checked his watch, trying to hide his own eagerness. He knew she was coming back today, but he wasn’t expecting to see her until this weekend when Dave was hosting a dinner party. “What airline?” 

JJ let out a sigh of relief. “Southwest! Thank you!” She called as she hurried around him, mother duties calling her. He understood that rush, when your kid was sick all you wanted to do was hold them in your arms and make them feel better. He had borrowed a state car when his own had been having some issues after an oil change, so he realized the imagery of pulling up at the Airport in a massive back Suburban with government plates and a suit. He had tried to limit the stares as much a possible. So as he climbed into his car, he pulled off his jacket and tossed it in the back seat. Well, tossing was the wrong word. He carefully hung it up and rested it over the back of the bench seat to limit the wrinkles. He then pulled out into the cold pre winter air and headed towards the airport, turning on the radio to some random news station as snow started falling on his windshield.

He tried to think of all the things he could say when he saw her, but once again he had no idea what to even talk about. As much as he would deny it, he was nervous. The last time he had been on a date was with Beth, but that relationship had come and gone pretty quickly, and before that was Haley. It was official, he was not good at dating, but was that what they were doing? Or is this what Morgan called ‘talking’?

He didn’t have time to think about it for much longer, as he pulled up to the sidewalk, the winter storm starting with earnest. He didn’t know what it was that drew his eyes through the massive crowd of holiday travelers to land directly on her, but he couldn’t help the smile on his face when he did. She was bundled up in a big coat, but the stark maroon red of the Harvard sweatshirt she was wearing stood out under it. Her grey beanie and scarf covered most of her face, and she was bouncing on her toes to keep warm, her arms wrapped around her. 

He watched her eyes grow wide with confusion at the large black car pulling up in front of her, and then a wide grin spread over her face when she saw him open the door and step out, pausing to look at her from the other side of the car. 

*~*~*

“Aaron?” I questioned, brushing hair out of my face as I watched him emerge from the cliche state car. I was expecting JJ in her little sedan, or Will in his truck, but not Aaron in what was very obviously an FBI vehicle. He made his way around the hood of the car, pausing just in front of me. I could feel him looking me over, and I was glad for the wind burn that hid my blush. There were two kinds of faces this man tended to wear, his work face, which was stern and serious, and his relaxed face. I could tell he just came from work because he was in this odd in between stage. He was still stern and serious, but I could see the gleam of kindness in his dark eyes. 

“JJ had to grab Henry from school and she asked me to get you.” He offered in answer, and then he stepped forward, extending his hand for my bag which I quickly offered to him. “Climb in and get warm.” He ordered quickly and I was all too happy to obey. I climbed into the car, pulling off my jacket, scarf, and hat as he opened the door and placed my bag inside. It closed with a loud click and I turned to see that the locks disappeared into the door. My mind instantly turned to wonder who made that necessary. 

Aaron climbed into the car again once I was smoothing down my hair to fix where my hat had made it stick up. My jacket soon joined my bag in the back and I settled into my seat, pressing my cold hands into the vents to warm them up in the hot air. He pulled away, merging easily into traffic, which almost as quickly turned into standstill. I groaned, dropping my head back against the headrest, which only made him laugh. 

“Don’t mock my pain.” I retorted, stretching my legs out in front of me in the surprisingly roomy car. 

“How was your flight?” He asked, recognizing the stretching and unfolding of someone who had spent the better part of a day in an airport and on a plane. 

“Fine! There was a kid on the flight who wouldn’t stop screaming though.” I replied, digging into my bag for my makeup bag. I frowned when it wasn’t there, turning to look at my duffle bag as if it was see through and I could see if it was in there. Of course, I could remember only at that moment that I had stuffed it into the top of the bag last night. I unclipped my seatbelt, which instantly made a beeping start in the cab of the car. 

“What are you doing? He demanded, turning his head to look at me as I turned in my seat and knelt, reaching into the back of the car to reach my bag. “(Y/n). Sit down!” He added once I didn’t respond. 

“Hang on! I’m just grabbing something.” I called back, finally catching the zipper on my bag enough to pull it open. I just curled my hands around the makeup bag when I felt his large hand on my waist pulling me back through the seat and depositing me in my seat. “Hey! What gives!?” 

“Sit down and put your seatbelt on.” He ordered, his voice raised only a fraction of a decibel in volume, but it was enough to make my head rush as I hurried to listen. I stared at him, startled, my heart beating at an uncomfortable pace in my chest. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” 

“We were barely moving!” I challenged, glaring at him despite the obvious irritation in his eyes. 

“We are in a government car, and I am a government employee.” He hissed, the tone alone enough to make me regret my actions. “If you’re not going to behave, you’ll lose the privilege of sitting in the front seat and I’ll put you in the back. Do I make myself clear?” I swallowed thickly, nodding quickly. 

“I’m sorry, Aaron.” He glared, then his face softened and he took a breath, turning his attention back to the road. My eyes drifted up to the bar of lights on the top of the car and I stifled a giggle. 

“What is it?” He deadpanned, hearing the noise I tried so badly to suppress. 

“Would it be misbehaving if I turned on the sirens?” I reached my hand out to the button on the dash that was clearly marked “Lights/Siren” and before I could even get within an inch of it, his hand was circling my wrist tightly. 

“I swear to God (Y/n) I will cuff you and put you in the back.” He ground out and I just quirked an eyebrow. 

“Ooo, touchy.” I retorted, pulling my arm back from him, but he didn’t let go. 

“You think I’m kidding?” He retorted, the car coming to a stop at the next bottleneck allowed his hand to leave the wheel and hook in the metal of the cuffs on his belt. My eyes went wide and I looked between them and his face. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” I replied, my eyes narrowing. 

“Yea? Try me.” He shot back and the seriousness in his eyes killed any fire in my chest to tease him. He looked stressed, so I let it lie. He read my submission in my eyes and dropped my arm, placing the cuffs in the cupholder, mostly because it was probably a pain in the ass to put them back in the holder without standing, and second to serve as a warning. 

*~*~*

Aaron’s heart was pounding in his chest, and for once he was glad for the traffic which required his attention with enough seriousness that she had no idea what she was doing to him. Normally, he would never care what someone was doing in the car, he had driven in worse situations, but when she was trying to reach into the back of the car, and her hips were at his face, he was entirely too distracted. And he was ashamed. Here he was, a 40 some year old man ogling at a 23 year old woman’s ass. He had acted on instinct and pulled her back down.   
He was still fired up when she had started teasing him, and instead of getting himself back under control, he let his emotions run his actions, and that was how he had somehow gotten to the point where he had threatened to cuff her. He hated how much the image in his mind thrilled him. It was a taboo normally he would never consider, Haley had all but balked at it, but then again she never wanted to know anything that had to do with the Bureau, obviously bringing work home had been an issue, whether it was in the bedroom or not. 

Regardless, he knew now that the thought had entered his mind, he would think about it every time his hands clasped around a wrist, or he heard the clicking of the lock. He sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over his face before bracing it on the door. “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” She said suddenly, breaking the quiet of the car. He tilted his head at her, then sighed again and shook his head. 

Aaron reached over, placing a hand on her arm, gripping it comfortingly. “You haven’t upset me (Y/n).” He said quietly. “I over reacted, I’m sorry.” He covered, but when her warm hand settled delicately over his in acceptance of his apology, he had to push down the urge to kiss her. Maybe Dave was right… he did need to get laid. She made herself comfortable in the chair beside him, curling her legs under her as she rested her head against the window, watching him. She paused a moment, then reached over and his eyes slid to her hand in warning. 

“Oh relax, I’m turning on the radio.” He nodded, and had to cough to hide the laugh when she groaned at the NPR show playing. “Jesus Christ you’re such an old man.” She teased turning the dial a few times until she found a soft rock station. Muttering a curse when all she could find was Christmas music for a while. “Christmas starts on Monday, _after_ Thanksgiving.” She said in explanation to his silent question. 

“Oh you’re one of those.” He shot back, teasing her. She took the bait and sat up straighter, giving him a playful glare. 

“ _‘One of those?’_ “ She repeated, crossing her arms defiantly over her chest. “I’m sorry, since when is being a logical person being _one of those_? Lemme guess, you’re one of those people who thinks the second Halloween is over it’s Christmas time?” 

He shrugged, using one hand to maneuver through the traffic that had started to move faster now that they had passed the minor accident that had blocked them up for the better part of an hour. “I’m not, but my son is.” 

*~*~*

I don’t know why that sentence scared me as bad as it did, but I felt an icy hot dagger of fear roll through me when he mentioned his son. It made sense, he was a good 20 years older than me, which only worried me… how old was his son? Was I going to be _that_ girl? The one who dates the father of a guy her age? I shifted in my seat, trying not to show how uncomfortable I was, but of course, he noticed almost instantly. “(Y/n)?” I could sense the panic in his voice, so I tried to cover it by smiling brightly. 

“Your son! I didn’t know you had a son… how old is he?” I asked carefully, and I felt Aaron watching me from the periphery of his eyes. 

“He just turned 8.” I breathed a sigh of relief silently. “I’m.. I’m sorry I should have told you about him.” 

I shook my head, scoffing. “Aaron, it’s fine.” I said laying a hand on his arm. “We are still getting to know each other.” He nodded, turning off an exit that I recognized was the first of a few turns that lead to JJ’s home. 

I saw the corner of his mouth quirk up in a small smile and I tilted my head to watch him. “That reminds me, are you busy Sunday night?” I felt butterflies erupt in my chest and I blushed. 

“That depends entirely on whatever you say next.” I teased, nervously picking at my hands while I waited for the words I knew were about to leave his mouth. 

“Well, there’s an outdoor concert on the green downtown. I was going to ask if you wanted to go but if you’re too busy then-” I cut him off before he could finish by nearly jumping in my seat. 

“An outdoor concert!? Oh how pretty!” He smirked and then nodded to me. 

“I’ll take that as a yes then?” I nodded excitedly and before I even realized what I was doing I had leant up and kissed him on the cheek. We both paused, letting the action pass between us quietly. I bit my lip, worried I had crossed a line, but he just smiled. It wasn’t like we hadn’t kissed before, but I didn’t know if ‘taking it slow’ like we agreed meant taking it _slow_. He didn’t mention it though, and we drove the rest of the way in relative quiet as the music played over the radio soothingly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone really needs to put a warning on the drinks at Rossi's place. 
> 
> ((I am really not sure about this story....))

When JJ’s house finally came into view, she was on the porch in a sweater, Henry in her arms as she rocked him back and forth. “Oh no! Look how sick he looks.” I cood, and Aaron hummed in response, pulling into the driveway and parking in one swift movement. Will rushed out, well, as much as will can rush, more of a hurried shuffle and took my bag from Aaron who had somehow gotten around the car and grabbed it before I even got my seatbelt undone. 

Aaron must have said something to Will because he shrugged. “Doctor said it’s probably a little flu, there’s not much they can do for it but let him ride it out.” He sounded tired. Aaron and I shared a look and I instantly knew that he was thinking the same thing I was. 

“JJ do you need us to get anything from the store, I don’t mind running back out.” He said, motioning to the still running car. She looked relieved, and nodded. 

“I’ll text (Y/n).” He nodded and we both climbed back into the car letting the two of them return to the house to care for their sick child. I tutted as I clipped my belt in and sighed. 

“Poor kid! Those always knock me out, and right before Thanksgiving too.” We were nearly to the store when I got a text from JJ. There was everything from Airborne for kids all the way to a bottle of wine for her. I giggled at the addition, sending back a message to let her know we were on it. As we climbed out of the car for the second time that night, I turned to look at Aaron, putting a hand to his chest to stop him. He looked at me in confusion and I flicked my eyes down to his weapon. “Aaron, gun.” 

He pursed his lips, as close to a thank you for the reminder as I was going to get. I watched him unclip it with practiced ease and close it in a lockbox under the driver’s seat. It took everything in me not to bite my lip at the sight. It was unfairly attractive, knowing what he did and for who. I would never admit it outloud, but my authority and uniform kinks had come out in almost every fantasy I had about Agent Aaron Hotchner. And part of me was kind of hoping that if I pushed him enough it would come out for him too. It almost had for a second there, in the car, but as quickly as it was there, it was gone. 

He returned to my side, and I fell in step just behind him, pulling my phone out to read out the list. “Alright, what’s our gameplan?” He asked over his shoulder as he retrieved a basket. 

“We need, children’s airborne, children's Advil, _adult_ Advil, milk, eggs,soup, and wine.” I looked up to him, watching as his eyes scanned the store. “I’ll get the meds if you want to grab the food?” He nodded, and we went our separate ways, him down to the dairy isle and me over to the pharmacy section. I grabbed the kids liquid medicine in grape, which somehow JJ’s child enjoyed, a bottle of extra strength Advil, some cold busters just in case, and a sleeve of juice boxes. I even picked up a little Hot Wheels for Henry, knowing he was going to need a little pick me up.” Aaron found me fumbling with a box of tissues as I loaded my arms with the requested items. 

He just shook his head at me kindly as I dropped it in his basket. “That everything?” He asked, already making his way to the cash. I checked the basket, noting each of the items before I nodded. 

“Yessir!” I chirped, locking my phone and shoving it deep in the waistband of my leggings. Damn women’s clothing. 

*~*~*

Aaron, enough. You are not so desperate that you will allow a phrase of affirmation to get you hot and bothered. She probably didn’t even know what she had done. He glanced over to her, watching as she pulled up the end of her sweater to place her phone into the top of her pants, her skin poking out just a bit where she had exposed. He averted his eyes, focusing instead on the self-checkout line. She wasn’t doing anything, he needed to get himself under control god damnit. He placed the basket down a bit too hard on the shelf and he cursed when she jumped slightly. He apologized quickly, pulling out everything to scan as she moved to the end and began bagging everything. They moved in tandem, they would make a good team. 

When it came time to pay, he had to physically stop her hand from passing her card through the reader. “I can pay.” She argued, and he just shook his head. 

“I’m sure you can.” He said as he pulled out his own card and inserted it into the reader. 

“JJ’s going to be pissed.” She retorted, already trying to glare at him. 

“I’m JJ’s boss, she can deal with it.” He snapped back playfully and she just scoffed, rolling her eyes. She collected the bags off the tray and he took the milk and eggs before the two of them made their way back out to the car. There was a comfortable silence, and it continued until they were nearly back to JJ’s home. Her phone buzzing in her lap caught his attention, but he didn’t look over, respecting her privacy. “Is that JJ?” 

She swallowed thickly and shook her head. “No, uhm.. I got a grade back.” She was lying, and she was really bad at it. 

“Try Again.” He ordered, letting her know she had been caught. She flinched, rolling her phone in her hand anxiously. 

“It’s my bank, one of my loans has gone to collections and I’ve been fighting with them to tell them I have the money but I just have to give it to them slower than they want it.” She relaxed into the seat, sighing deeply as she brushed hair out her face. This time she wasn’t lying. 

“They aren’t being forgiving?” She shook her head angrily. 

“When are they ever.” She lamented, bracing her hand on the door nervously. He let the words hang in the air. There was something that wasn’t adding up about them. Why would she lie to him about something so stupid? She could be embarrassed, that was very possible, but there was real panic in her voice, you couldn’t mask that. 

So was her story a fabricated one, or was there some truth to it?He didn’t have the time to decipher it, they had pulled onto the street JJ lived on, and were just about to turn into her driveway. When he parked, he paused, then rested his hand on her arm. “You don’t have to hide from me, you know that right?” Her eyes searched his, and he could see that she so badly wanted to believe that, but couldn’t. JJ had mentioned that she had suffered something that made her distrustful of most, and he wanted so badly to prove that she was safe with him. 

She smiled, though, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to the side of his lips, a teasing gesture normally was endearing to him now. She climbed out of the car, grabbing the bags of groceries, and Aaron grabbed the milk and eggs, following her up the slippery stairs to the front door where she pushed open the door quietly. JJ was on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with Henry on her chest his body nearly covering hers as she rubbed his back. 

*~*~*

The panic of the text from Arnie faded to maternal worry when I saw the look on JJ’s face. Jennifer Jareau was never useless, unless something was wrong with her child. She looked exhausted, but everyone knew she wouldn’t sleep. She smiled to me tiredly, and Will came around the corner with a cup of coffee just as Aaron pushed his way inside. “You two are life savers, seriously.” He drawled, handing the cup to JJ before he took the eggs and milk from Aaron. 

“Is he doing any better?” I asked, digging in the bags for the little police truck I had bought him. JJ shook her head. 

“The fever’s gotten worse, and the cough is killing me.” She replied, her voice breaking slightly. I frowned, but walked to the side of her, hiding the treat until I was in front of Henry. 

“Hey buddy, I got you something.” His eyes opened and then lit up despite the sickness haze and his hand reached for the truck. 

“Thanks, (Y/n).” He said, his voice scratchy. 

“Anything for my favourite cousin.” He smiled, pulling the truck into his chest as his eyes closed again. JJ smiled at me, and I felt Aaron’s eyes on me as I returned to the bags, bringing them around the corner to allow Will to go through them. I then returned to the living room to say goodbye to Aaron. “I’ll walk you out.” I said, noticing his hand already on the doorknob. He nodded, opening the door for me before we walked back to the car. I knew that we were hidden by the trees in JJ’s yard, so I grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a proper kiss.

His hand found my hips instantly, and turned me around so my back was against the door of the SUV. I smiled against him and pulled his tie tighter. His hand left my hip to grab my wrist and force me to release his tie. “You’re going to get us caught.” He said quietly and I bit my eyes, mischief gleaming in them. “Then again something tells me you’d like that.” 

“Am I that easy?” I teased and he scoffed, pressing his lips to mine again before he stepped back, effectively ending the contact on his terms. 

“Oh (Y/n), if there is one thing you aren’t it’s easy.” I felt my heart swell at the pseudo compliment and he moved around me, opening the door. “I’ll see you on Thursday.” He promised, referencing the dinner party at JJ’s co-workers place. I folded my arms over my chest against the cold, nodding to him as he closed the door and pulled away. I watched the taillights disappear and then made myway inside, only to be stopped by Will who gave me a serious look and nodded to his office, away from the living room where JJ had fallen asleep with Henry. 

My heart was in my throat as I watched him close the doors behind him and pull out his phone, where he produced the video from his Ring camera and showed it. It was very clearly me kissing Aaron, in perfect, beautiful HD. “Shit.” I said quietly, dropping my head into my hand. “Did JJ see?” I saw him shake his head and then watched as he made a show of deleting it off the camera roll. 

“No, and you’re lucky she didn’t. Girl what are you thinkin’? He is twice your age.” He seethed his voice just above a whisper. I shook my head, looking away from him. 

“I wasn’t thinking. But… It’s not what you think it is.” I didn’t know what he thought he saw, but I knew what I would think. “We are taking things slow.” 

“I don’t give two shits if you two fucked in the parking lot of the Food Lion. You can keep a secret from JJ, she knows better than to ask too many questions, but Aaron’s gonna see right through you.” My skin paled, and my head spun. I hadn’t thought about that. “Unless of course you’re about to tell me that you’ve got that whole mess you found yourself in figured out all of a sudden?” 

“I’ve got it handled.” I insisted, which only caused Will to roll his eyes. 

“Sure you do. I’ll just make sure to put away a couple thousand for your federal bail money when Hotch figures out you’ve spent the better half of the last two years as a high priced call girl.” The dig hurt, but I knew that he wasn’t saying it to be mean, he was saying it to warn me. 

“It’s handled, Will.” I reiterated, and he just nodded bitterly, shaking his head as he left the room. My heart was in my throat, I hadn’t really thought about what would happen if Aaron found out about my previous occupation. It had been mostly my choice, but when I found out what I was doing, I really wanted to leave, but couldn’t. Arnie wouldn’t let me, and I had the scars to prove it, internally and externally. 

I honestly think that it was Arnie finding out I was JJ’s cousin that spooked him enough to leave me alone and let me leave. Obviously he had grown some balls and decided he didn’t care, that was why I was standing here with a barely healed cracked rib and a still tender nose. I pinched the bridge, squeezing when tears came to my eyes to steady myself. “(Y/n)?” It was JJ, looking in from the door. I startled, looking up at her in confusion. 

“Hey, how’s Henry?” She smiled, walking further into the room, clutching her arms to herself in a self hug. 

“Asleep, finally. I think that truck you gave him was enough of a morale booster that he found the energy to fight again.” I smiled, thinking about the small smile on his sick face. “How was Hotch?” I paled, looking up to her in alarm. “On the ride home? Did he talk to you or was it two hours of silence?” I cleared my throat laughing quietly in relief. 

“Oh! Yea, he was fine.. Uhm… we talked a little about his son.” She smiled fondly, opening her arm to me to allow me to duck under it and to her side. 

“Good, I’m glad.” She said, leading me down the hall to the guest bedroom. “He really seems to be opening up to you, maybe you two should try and hang out sometime, just the two of you I think you would both benefit from that.” I nodded stiffly, and she allowed me space to walk into the room. “Call if you need anything.” She closed the door behind me and I sighed deeply, rubbing a hand down my face before reaching for my scarf and tossing it in a corner of the room. I soon managed to drape myself over the bed, falling dead asleep before I could even take off my boots. 

Henry’s bug turned out to be a common cold from his classroom, and within 48 hours he was fit as a fiddle, if not still a little tired. JJ had managed to catch the adult version, but was better after a good sleep, so when 5pm rolled around on Thursday, we were all ready and in the car heading to Dave Rossi’s home. I had insisted on bringing a host’s gift despite JJ claiming I didn’t need to, yet when she saw the whiskey I had grabbed she nodded in approval. I knew without a doubt it was appreciated when Dave took the bottle from my hand, holding it up before taking my head in both of his hands and pressing a kiss to my forehead, exclaiming something in Italian. 

I tried my best to not look for Aaron, but I couldn’t help it. Will gave me a look when he saw me scan the room and I just returned it, glaring at him in the most innocent way I could, and he blinked first. Aaron hadn’t arrived, so I made my way to where the drinks were and retrieved a Mulled Cider mug for myself and a christmas cookie. I had just bit into it when I heard Aaron’s voice filter through the music. “Sorry we’re late Dave I-”

“Dad spilled aftershave on his shirt and had to change.” A little voice called from beside him, before it was distracted by Henry. “Hey Henry! Cool truck!” I covered my mouth with my hand, snorting a laugh as Dave pat Aaron on the back comfortingly. 

“‘From the Mouth of Babes’ eh Aaron?” Dave said, before taking his coat and draping it over the railing. I stood to the side, trying not to be seen staring as I took in his outfit, long black jean slacks, black shirt and a red quarter zip. He was in perfect contrast to my own outfit: a deep red blush coloured dress, sitting comfortably over my shoulders and arms. My heels, which I had forgotten by the door, would have given me an extra two inches of gold, but now I was just padding around in my bare feet, the house warm enough to find it comfortable. 

He must have felt me watching him, because his eyes landed on me and I turned, pretending I was sipping my drink and examining the art beside me. Dave was distracted by something, which gave him the chance to break away and find me. I felt his hand on my back, which meant that we were safe from any prying eyes. “You look beautiful.” 

“Aftershave huh?” I teased in response and I heard him laugh quietly. As much as I loved Work Aaron, I very much liked Relaxed Aaron, he smiled more. 

“You heard that I suppose?” I nodded, turning in his hand, letting the warmth transfer from the back of my hip to the front, cupping the hot mug in my hand and bringing it between us. I watched his eyes flick to the drink, then turn to the bar where I had gotten it from. It didn’t take years of training to know he wanted one. 

“I think you’d look good in a beard.” I raised my hand, brushing it over the soft skin, so methodically shaven that there wasn’t a single hair missed. “Why don’t you grow it out more?”

“Against FBI Regulations.” He replied quickly and I furrowed my brow, remembering that both Rossi and Morgan had beards. I mentioned so and he just rolled his eyes before they locked on mine. “Some people are less interested in rules.” 

“Rules are meant to be broken.” I retorted and from the fire that lit in his eyes suddenly I had to sip my drink to keep from biting my lip. Down girl. 

Aaron moved away from me, but the look over his shoulder welcomed me to follow him, so I did, all the way back to the bar where he grabbed a drink for himself. We then joined the rest of the crowd in the living room where they were sharing stories and tales from days past. There were no seats, so we stood in the back with a few others, smiling along with the stories. 

That was, until there was something that I could jump off of. “-I swear, there will never be a night that went worse than that training exercise, I will bet on it.” Dave exclaimed, talking about a night at his Boot camp. 

“I can beat it.” I chimed in, the crowd turning to look at me with confusion, I felt Aaron shift beside me, and it was only then I realized that his hand had been brushing against mine. 

“This I’ve gotta hear.” Morgan called, resting his arm around a very colourful woman’s shoulders. 

I cleared my throat, giving everyone a look around the table, before landing on JJ who looked concerned. “For those of you who don’t know, I went to an all girls military academy for a few years.” Everyone seemed surprised, and I tried not to feel Aaron’s gaze on me. “Well, during one of our first few weeks, they sent us all out on this training mission where basically we were blindfolded, disoriented, and dropped in the middle of the woods of Alabama…”

_The blindfold was pulled off so roughly I thought that it had pulled some hair with it. It probably had, and I winced expecting bright sunlight, but instead it was dark. What had they given us? All I remembered was having lunch, and then… nothing. Where were we? And more importantly, who was_ we? “Hello!?” I called, waiting for other voices. They chimed in, all responding that they heard me. My hands were bound behind me, but I heard a tearing and knew it was duct tape, so I pulled, and when I felt the scrape of a rock, was able to wedge it between my skin and the tape, and it released. “Stay where you are! I’m coming.” I yelled, finally finding my way in the dark to where the first girl was sitting, she couldn’t have been older than 12. 

“Where are we?” She coughed, the only sound she could make as she desperately tried to bring in air around her sobs. 

“I don’t know, but we’re gonna figure it out.” I assured her, cutting through the tape holding her hands. I pulled her to her feet, brushing the dust off her uniform before calling out to the next girl. There were five of us in all, ranging from 12 to 17. I was 15. 

“What the fuck is happening.” The 17 year old, a girl named June scoffed, looking around. They had taken our phones early on, so I had no idea what time it was, or where to go. 

“Hey, watch your language.” I hissed, looking over my shoulder in fear that one of the wardens had heard her swear. I didn’t really feel like holding a plank just because she decided she wanted to drop an F bomb. 

June instantly rounded on me, in one swift move pushing me to the ground and standing over me. “You’re the reason we’re out here. If you hadn't kept crying they wouldn’t have done this. So the next time you want to open your mouth around me you better be ready to lose a few more teeth.” I glared up at her defiantly. 

“Me!? This isn’t my fault!” I protested, skittering back and away from her. “If anything it’s Julia’s fault!” the last girl wasn’t with us, she had been at lunch, but she wasn’t now. Dread filled my chest. 

“Where is Julia?” Lily the little girl said, turning and trying to find her bunkmate. We all paused, then all started calling for her. We heard a faint screaming coming from down the gorge, and we were up and running before any of us could say another word. 

“Julia!” June called, cupping her hands around her mouth to call out to her. 

“Over here! Please!” We ran down the slope, crashing through bushes and trees until we found where she was, the bottom of a massive cement pool, with no exit. 

“What the hell?” I said, bracing myself on the edge to look over. It had to be 10 feet deep, and twice that across. 

“It’s an old water tower base.” June revealed, pointing to the pile of pipes laying on the ground near the corner. I nodded, following her hand. 

“Maybe we can use those to pull her out!” Lily added, moving close to the side. “Jules! Can you lift any of those pipes?” Just as she was about to reach them, June yelled for her to stop. 

“Don’t touch them! They’re covered in rust! You’ll cut your hands, if they don’t fall apart first.” She scoffed, her dark eyes scanning the horizon. “There’s nothing up here to pull her up. You know for it being Alabama there aren’t many vines. Or anything.” I nodded in agreement, not really knowing if they were common, but June was from here, I was not. 

“Can we pull her up?” Lily asked, starting to get worried in the way that only young children could when they didn’t see a solution to a problem. 

“She’s too short, we can’t reach her.” I said with a sigh, turning to June. “Wait, you said you could climb walls right?” She nodded, looking at me with contempt.

“Yea, until they used the fucki- I mean, stupid dog on me.” June had been caught by her local cops running from a store with probably $150 worth of cigarettes, they had given her a choice, Juvie or here, she chose here. 

I shook my head, already swinging my legs over the side of the pit. “Well, I can’t pull up for shit,” I winced at the swear, but there was no time for that. “But I can push.” She caught my meaning instantly, and braced herself on the edge of the pit waiting for me to lift the younger girl onto my shoulders. She was probably 110 pounds soaking wet, so it was easy to hoist her up on my shoulders. She stood up on them, and latched her hand around June’s wrist, and together we pulled her up and out, her foot leaving my hand moments before she was safely over the side. 

“That was still the most insane night!” My eyes went far away for a moment, and I didn’t really realize the silence in the room. The story had gotten away from me, and I had (pardon the pun) dug myself a hole.

“(Y/n),” I turned to JJ, my heart freezing at the concern in her eyes. “(Y/n), how did they get you out of the pit?” I cleared my throat, waving her away. 

“Oh that part’s no fun…” I tried, but my usually flippant response was ignored by the room of FBI profilers and former military commanders. Thankfully, my drink was empty, so I made a big show of needing to fill it before hastily making my exit out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Aaron’s heart had stopped somewhere between the moment she mentioned the very obvious hazing ritual, and the moment she tried to laugh off the questions about what happened when they swore. Her hands had started shaking, but she was smiling and laughing while telling the story. The BAU team had begun looking around at each other about the time she mentioned the blanks in her memory. They had begun shifting in their seats when her voice broke against her will when she spoke about the pipes. It was clear that most of the story had been altered, maybe in her own mind, to hide the horror of what had really happened in that pit. 

JJ, the one who knew her the best was the first to speak, but it was like (Y/n) hadn’t heard her, just finishing the story that to her was just a harmless war story. But she wasn’t a soldier, and that wasn’t war. Luckily for her, almost every single person in that room knew the signs of someone dealing with a harmful memory, so they sat politely through it, watching with concern as she slowly strayed from what was probably a carefully thought out joke about bumbling their way back through the woods at night, and into what had really happened. 

The cider was stronger than it looked. 

Aaron was the first to move, holding a hand out to the rest of the team to stay put, and let him deal with it. She didn’t trust any of the others, and JJ would only make her shut down… at least, that’s what he told himself as he followed her out of the room and to the back porch where he found her holding her arms to herself breathing in the freezing cold air. He had pulled off his jacket before he even thought about it and draped it over her shoulders. She jumped, then relaxed when she realized it was him. 

“I’m sorry.” She said instantly, dropping her head to her hands where she quickly tried to wipe away the tears, but the shaking in her hands had become so violent she couldn’t get them to cooperate. He gently moved her hands away, taking her face into his and wipes the black marks from her face carefully. 

“What are you sorry for?” He asked quietly, and she just sniffed, giving him an indignant look. 

“Oh I don’t know Aaron, how about rambling about a horrible experience during what is supposed to be a fun night?” She scoffed, glaring at him. She translated her fear and embarrassment into anger, and it wasn’t directed at him. 

“What I think you don’t understand is just how much every single person in that room understands.” He said firmly, watching as her eyes went wide, then darted to the windows. “What you’ve done,” She flinched, and he softened his tone. “Is open the door for people to do exactly what they’re supposed to do tonight: Share what they’re grateful for.” 

“But everyone seemed so… happy. And I ruined it.” Her voice broke again and he sighed, pulling her head to his chest. She clutched onto his shirt, and he moved one hand to wrap the coat tighter around her shaking frame. 

“You didn’t ruin it, (Y/n).” She hadn’t, she had done what eventually happened at every party with this group of people. Maybe a few courses early, but it always happened, one person mentioned an event that was horrific, and traumatic, there was a silence, and then people made it better. By talking about it. 

They stayed like that for a few moments, before she sniffed and pulled away, wiping at stubborn tears with much steadier hands. He had so many questions, but he didn’t want to press on an already sore spot. 

“They didn’t… by the way.” He furrowed his brow, confused. “Get me out of the pit.” 

_I cheered when she was over the edge, looking around to see if I could find something to stand on. “Now how do we get me out?” I joked, but the smile on my face fell when I watched June stare down at me, the younger of the two girls embracing and moving away from the edge._

_She shrugged, a sickening smirk on her face. “That’s not my problem.” I felt panic rising in my chest._

_“What?”_

_“Ever since you’ve got here, you’ve been pushing in on my territory. Half my girls went to you, and I can’t have that. So, with any luck, you’ll find your own way out.” She went to walk away and I yelled her name, panic so evident in my tone._

_“JUNE! Wait, please. For all we know they’ll leave me out here. They might not come back!” She considered it for a moment, and I thought I saw something flash in her eyes, regret, shame… compassion. “Don’t leave me here!” I was all but screaming._

_Her face hardened, and she spit over the side of the pool, the mess landing just beside me. “Again, not my problem.” She disappeared over the edge, and all I was able to see was the stars above and the trees waving in the growing wind. There was a storm coming, and I was completely alone._

_Morning came painfully slow. The rain was constant, only stopping when the first rays of grey sun came through. They didn’t come then, they didn’t come when the sun was directly overhead, and they still didn’t come when it was once again dark._

_I heard dogs barking and people calling my name, that’s what woke me up from my frozen sleep some time after midnight. The rain from the night before had left a layer of stagnant water, I had tried using the pipes, but they had done just as June had said, my hands were numb and throbbing. I had slipped a few times, ripping my uniform in so many places they were ruined._

_When they finally found me, I was so cold, so tired, and hungry (they had limited my lunch the day previous to a singular apple, and we obviously hadn’t had any dinner, tack on days of low food and hard work and I was lucky to even be conscious), that I could barely call out for help._

_The next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, the steady beeping of my heart bringing me back from the brink of darkness every few seconds._

“They never called my dad, they told me they did, and that he told me that it was what I deserved for being the ungrateful daughter I was.” She cleared her throat against the tears that welled there against her will and Aaron pulled her to him, giving in to the instinct to protect her. 

*~*~*

I felt safe in Aaron’s arms. Not just safe like I could relax, but safe like for the first time in my life I wasn’t looking over my shoulder. For the first time, I wasn’t scared that Arnie was right around the corner, ready to grab me, like the boogie man. I buried my head into his chest, the two of us standing there for a long moment until the door opened and I heard a little voice call from the kitchen. “Dad? Ms. Jareau says dinner’s ready.”

Aaron turned, and I looked up, clearing my throat as I moved away from him slightly. He gave me a once over, then extended his hand to the small boy, who came padding over obediently. “Jack, I want you to meet (Y/n). She’s a friend of mine, and Ms. Jareau’s cousin.” Jack smiled shyly, hiding slightly behind his dad’s legs. I squatted down as best I could in my dress, balancing on my toes as I held out my hand. 

“It is very nice to meet you, Jack.” The boy looked at me for a moment, then his tiny hand met mine and I shook it. When he spoke again, his words knocked all the air from my lungs. 

“You are very brave.” I blinked a few times, looking up at Aaron in confusion. 

“What do you mean by that Jack?” He asked, his hand resting on the boy’s shoulders. Jack turned his face up to his dad and innocently blinked at him. 

“Well, you’re brave,” We looked at each other, but Aaron just nodded. “And she did what you do, waited until she thought no one could see her to start crying.” Aaron’s eyes snapped to mine and I stood, smiling slightly. 

“Thank you Jack.” I said honestly, and quietly, yet my eyes were locked on Aaron’s. 

“Go ahead inside and get your plate Jack, we’ll be right behind you.” He nodded, scurrying off to where Henry was waiting for him, tonka truck in hand. Aaron waited until he was out of earshot to speak. “I’m sorry, we are working on his filter-” I didn’t even bother looking in the window to make sure no one could see us before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. His hands found my waist, and for a few heart stopping moments, we just existed together. 

He finally pulled away, and blinked a few times staring down at me with a mix of hunger, surprise, and appreciation. “Sorry, couldn’t help it.” I apologized none too seriously, my lips tilted in a bright smile. 

“One of these days you’re going to get us caught.” He said quietly, his eyes darting to the house where there was barely an eyeline into the dining room. 

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t love that.” I teased, before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, then moving around him to tiptoe back into the house. 

Around the adult’s table, there was respectful, quiet conversation, but I could tell that the topic was more on niceties for the meal. Many drinks that had still been nearly full when I left had been replenished, and from the solemn but bittersweet look on many faces, it was clear that I had indeed started something that needed to be started. 

Near the end of the table, in between David Rossi, and Henry’s Godfather, Spencer, there were two open seats. There was a shared look between Aaron and David, and from the small smirk that started on Dave’s face, he must have planned the fact that Aaron and I were beside each other, and JJ was on the complete other side of the room. Despite his eccentric nature, Dave was one hell of a wingman. 

“Everyone! I would like to make a toast, if I may.” Dave started, lifting his glass of expensive whiskey into the air. The room quieted, and everyone grabbed their drinks. I held mine by the thin stem, twisting the fine china in my hand. “This year we have seen many things we would rather we didn’t.” He looked between his team, and his friends from his military days. “And come back with a few more scars than maybe we deserved.” There was a look between a few of the gathered people that I knew had stories that best remain unsaid. “Yet, here we are, for another year, gathered together, with people we love, people we trust, and people we have yet to know.” He looked to me at this and I looked away, down at my free hand. 

To my surprise, Aaron’s free hand slipped over mine and held it tightly. I hadn’t realized it had started shaking again. “Buona Festa del Ringraziamento, Salude.” We all repeated the phrase and took a sip of our drinks. 

The conversation then shifted as it always did back to the football game, or other sports team events that had been going on in the background. I focused more on my food, letting the quiet conversation drift over me. Aaron’s hand had left mine at the end of the speech, but I could still feel it’s warmth and with it, the comfort it gave. 

Around 9:30, all the adults were sitting around in the living room, when JJ suddenly looked at her watch and sighed. “We really should go put him to bed.” she said, nodding to Will, the both of them turning to see their son drifting on the couch next to Jack who was watching some animated Christmas movie. “You ready to go, (Y/n)?” She asked, and I nodded, yawning as I grabbed my glass, then scooped up JJ’s as well. I made my way to the kitchen as she fetched her child, where I ran into Dave and Aaron talking quietly around the island. 

“Heading out Kiddo?” Dave asked, and I nodded. 

“Thank you for having me, Dave. You didn’t have to extend the invitation to me.” He waved me off, taking the glasses from my hands. 

“Any family of JJ’s is welcome here. Do you think you’re going to stay long?” I sighed, looking between the two of them, Aaron trying very hard not to look too invested in my answer. 

“I have a few more exams left, and then I graduate this winter.” I beamed when he exclaimed something in Italian and kissed my forehead. It was a fatherly gesture I hadn’t had in a while, and it made my heart hurt despite my best efforts. 

“Any ideas of what you’re going to do after?” Aaron asked, and I paused, looking to my feet. 

“Uhm.. no, not really.” I replied honestly. “There isn’t much need for a sociologist without a PhD.” I shuffled, then cleared my throat. “I may see if there’s something in the area.” I replied then shrugged. “But right now I’m taking it one step at a time.” Both men nodded, looking between one another in the way that only lifelong friends could… or at least, men who had been in trenches together could. 

“There’s no rush, you’re young.” Dave said, patting my shoulder as he passed, leaving Aaron and I alone in the kitchen. I cleared my throat again, and smiled. 

“So uhm… about Sunday?” I saw his face fall despite his best efforts then recover quickly. 

“I totally understand, please don’t feel bad about cancelling-”

“Cancelling?!” I cut him off, barking a slight laugh. “Aaron.” I said shaking my head as I took a step up to him. “I was going to ask what time you wanted to meet at the park.” I smiled and the relief on his face made me giggle. 

“7.” He said with a sigh of relief. “7 at the park.” I nodded, and before I could look over my shoulder he had already leaned down, catching my chin in his hand and kissed me gently, pulling away in just enough to time step away before JJ poked her head around the corner to see an innocent scene of Aaron rinsing out the glasses I had brought in. 

“(Y/n)? Ready?” I cleared my throat, still in shock that he had taken the initiative and nodded. 

“Yep!” I said, my voice an octave too high. As I passed Aaron I could see his smirk in the window and hear his low chuckle. 

*~*~*~*

I had never been more anxious for a date in my entire life. I had told JJ that I was meeting up with some old friends who happened to be in the area, so when she saw me leaving the house in a beautiful sweater blouse and jeans, coupled with my winter coat and hat, ready to brave the expected low temperatures and snow, she barely batted an eye. 

“You look beautiful! Make sure you get pictures okay?” She asked, adjusting my scarf as I batted her hands away. Once a mother, always a mother. 

Will was watching me with unamused detachment, Henry in his arms just having woken up from another round of that sickness that had knocked him out earlier in the week. “Jayge, leave me alone!” I laughed, pushing her hands away. “I’m gonna be late!” She finally relented, and I pushed out the door, hurrying across the lawn to my Lyft, coziying into the warmth of the car as the driver pulled away from the curb and made his way toward the city. 

*~*~*

Aaron hadn’t been on a date in some time. He hadn’t been on a date where he was this nervous since High School. There were so many thoughts running through his head: Was he too old for her? Was she too young for him? What would people say when they say them together? Why did he care? Would she care? He had even considered calling Reid to ask him what people his age talked about, but he realized the young doctor was probably even more clueless than he was. It was like going into a mission completely blind. Or court when you knew your client as more guilty than a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. 

He blew warm air into his hands, shaking them out despite him not really being that cold. He had forgone flowers, that seemed too old school, but the biting cold gave him an idea, and so when she arrived, stepping out of the car like something out of a Hallmark movie, he nearly dropped the warm pretzel he had bought.   
He almost second guessed his choice, until her face lit up when she realized what it was. “Did you get me a pretzel!?” She chirped, taking it from his hands eagerly. The tension he had noticed in her shoulders had instantly faded and he found comfort in the fact that she was just as nervous as he was. 

“Well you know, 5 cents doesn’t get you as much now as it did when I was a kid.” He tried, watching as her face when from confused to elated. 

“Did you just make a joke Aaron Hotchner?” He decided in that moment he loved the way she smiled when she was trying not to laugh. 

“That depends… was it funny?” He held out his arm for her to take, and he watched as her eyes darted towards it, and the smile on her face softened before she fit her arm into his. 

“Could use some work, if I’m honest.” She replied, taking an innocent bite of the pretzel. Aaron just rolled his eyes goodnaturedly, taking a bite of his own as the two of them walked arm in arm down the winter carnival like stalls lining the pathways, lights draped from and across the trees, blinking silently in the falling snow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((hey, so I am so sorry I have been AWOL. I had ANOTHER death in my family, my godfather, and I just.... crumbled. I am so out of my mind with grief, but I want to keep writing this to help... somehow. Please let me know if this isn't a good chapter, I'm trying. <3))

Halfway down the line of stalls, Aaron’s phone rang and he sighed deeply as he pulled it out of his pocket and frowned, giving me an apologetic look as he stepped away to answer what I assumed was a call from work. I smiled at him, dismissing his apology kindly, turning instead to watch the artisan beside me painting a slice of wood. As I was standing there, I felt a hand land heavy on my shoulder. I jumped, thinking it was Aaron, but the grip was familiar in all the wrong ways. 

“Enjoying yourself?” I flinched, Marcus’ voice sending shivers down my spine. 

“Marcus.” I said simply, turning my head slightly so I could see him out of the corner of my eye, trying to see if I could catch Aaron’s attention, but his back was to me as he looked out over the half frozen fountain beside us. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hmm, I’ll give you a guess.” He said, stepping up beside me, filling most of my vision as I stared ahead. “You still owe Arnie, you fucked up your last mission, and now you’re on a date with the fed that busted us.” My heart dropped to my stomach. That was Aaron? I had known, somewhere in the back of my mind, but I had pushed it so far out of my mind that I never considered that it could be a problem. 

“So you’re watching me?” I replied bitterly.   
“Of course we’re watching you, making sure you don’t try anything stupid, like telling the fed about Arnie.” I heard him scoff, and saw the smirk grow on his face. “Wouldn’t want anything to happen to him… or his little boy. What’s his name? Jack?” I rounded on him at that point, glaring at him. 

“Leave him out of this.” I seethed and he smirked, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he laughed cruelly. 

“Attached already? You didn’t strike me as the staying type.” I could hear the silent ‘slut’ at the end of that sentence. 

“I swear to God, Marcus, if you touch him I’ll-” He stepped into my space, but I held my ground. 

“You’ll what?” There was a silence between us, one unspoken conversation that ended with my looking away. It was at this moment that Aaron decided it best to return to my side. 

“Everything alright here?” He asked, noticing my discomfort. My eyes darted to Marcus who was smiling pleasantly. 

“Hey, you must be Aaron! I’m Marcus.” Aaron’s motions were professional but stiff. “(Y/n) here used to date a buddy of mine.” I cleared my throat uncomfortably and shifted in my feet. “As you can probably guess there’s some history. Well, I’ll see you around (Y/n), alright? Hope you figure out that loan issue.” He gave me a pointed look then he vanished into the crowd. I tried not to sigh with relief. 

Aaron watched him go, but didn’t say anything for a while longer. I sensed him about to speak, so I smiled brightly, grabbing his arm to pull him down to the next stand where a woman was selling hot apple cider. I produced a five from my wallet and handed it to her, the whole exchange happening so quickly that I was sure Aaron had forgotten about the thinly veiled threat in Marcus’s movements. 

He hadn’t. 

We took a few steps, and then I was pulled around a corner, hidden by a plastic sheet wall and a large bush, christmas music playing jovially from a speaker above us. “Talk.” He said forcefully, realizing the only way to get me to speak would be to forgo all professional tact. I shifted in my shoes a few times, scanning the area for any hiding eyes. I knew I was always being watched, it just mattered if I was being listened to. Aaron was growing tired of my stalling, and I felt his hand under my chin, forcing me to hold his gaze. He said my name in warning and I closed my eyes, sighing. 

“You remember that text? The one I told you about my bank?” He nodded, his forehead furrowing in concern, then he sighed, his eyes closing as he put the pieces together. 

“He’s the bank.” I nodded quietly. “And when you didn’t answer the message he decided to come talk find you?” I again, nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could get you out of this.” 

The indignant anger rose in my chest and I glared at him. “Because I don’t need your help, Aaron!” I spat, his head tilting as he watched me giving me pause. “I can handle it, and I am handling it. He’s just trying to scare me.” I smiled proudly. “But I’m a lot braver than he thinks.” I said, puffing out my chest and diffusing the tension. Aaron smiled, closing his eyes as he nodded with barely contained respect. I put a hand to the side of his face. “I appreciate you offering to help me, but I’m okay, I promise.” 

He leaned into my hand, turning to kiss it, his lips warm on my cold fingers. He looked at me for a long moment after that, and I took a breath, averting my eyes from his intense look. “How did I get so lucky that I get to have a stunning woman like you on my arm for the night?” My heart jumped and melted all in the same beat. My face lit up bright red, and no windburn in the world would hide that from him. 

“Stop it.” I replied, flustered, bringing my cup up to my lips to drink, only to have him push it away from me and replace it with his lips instead. It was hesitant, still nervous about where we stood with each other, but I soon leaned into it, allowing him to come more into my space and pull my body against his as my eyes slid shut. 

We pulled away, and I ruined what was absolutely a Hallmark worthy moment by gasping loudly and smiling brightly. “The concert’s starting!” Aaron smiled at my excitement, turning to see the band waving as they mounted the stage. I took his hand and the two of us walked to the lawn, finding our place near one of the heat lamps. Aaron slipped his arm around my waist and I curled into his side, letting his warmth warm my front, and the lamp warm my back. 

As the music started, playing rock covers of christmas songs, I found myself comfortably leaning into Aaron’s side, hearing the rumble of his voice as he hummed along. I looked up, seeing his eyes shining with the same thing as mine, bittersweet remembrance. He felt me looking at him, and his eyes met mine a moment later. He saw it too, and I felt his grip on my waist tighten. “Which was his favourite?” He asked, and I smiled. 

“Mary did you know.” I replied, my father’s favourite christmas song coming to mind easily. “What was hers?” 

“Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.” He responded, sighing. I cuddled closer into his side and sighed.

“My step mom didn’t like Christmas,” I started, smiling as we started swaying when they began a rendition of ‘Here Comes Santa Claus’, the kids in front of us dancing in a circle as their parents took pictures. “She barely let us put up a tree. But dad always did as much as he could. My mom loved christmas.” I smiled sadly. “Last Christmas was the last one dad was able to really enjoy.” Aaron held me tightly, and I felt him turn, placing a kiss on my forehead as he sighed. 

“I was worried that Jack wouldn’t want to celebrate after Haley, my wife, was killed. He didn’t really understand for a while, but last year I think was the first year he was actually happy at christmas again.” I smiled, looking up to him fully. Instead of kissing my forehead he pressed a kiss to my lips and I blushed, biting my lip as I looked away again. 

It was so strange to me, being here with him. There was nothing taboo per say about us being together. He was much older than me, but there was nothing wrong with that. I sighed, a nagging voice in my head asking me what my father would have thought about this. Would he have approved? He always told me to follow my heart, to leap before I look when it came to love, because you never knew when it was going to leave you. He had moved on quickly after my mom, but the two years before he did had been the best, he was my best friend. I had gone off the deep end when he married Jannet, she was the complete opposite of my mother. Which is probably why my father married her. She didn’t remind him of her at all. 

I had been such a shitty daughter after that, I did anything I could to get his attention, but I looked too much like my mother, he saw her in everything I did, and what was once a thing of pride to him was now a painful memory. When he got sick I thought it was his Karma, but as things moved on, I realized it was more like mine. I wish I had more time, I wish he could have met Aaron. I wish I could know if he had forgiven me, for all I had done, or will do.

There was a hush, as the band shifted, drawing all of our attention to the stage where a piano was being wheeled out into the spotlight. “This one’s for all the moms and dads, and all the lovers out there.” The first few notes made me pause in shock, then I found tears welling in my eyes. 

Aaron recognized it as soon as I did, and I felt his hand trace around my hips to find my fingers, bringing them up into his as his other hand found my hip, allowing us to rock back and forth gently as the first chorus of “Mary did you know?” filtered through the air. 

I had never slowed danced in any real capacity. I didn’t dance. Not in any way that would be seen as graceful, but now I think it was that I never had the right partner. Aaron’s careful but insistent guidance kept us on beat, and I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, just letting myself be, just for a moment. I could feel my parents’ spirits around me, though the cold may just have been caused by us moving away from the heat lamp. 

We drifted quietly, and I opened my eyes briefly to see not only other couples dancing, but a few watching us with the eyes of someone seeing a budding romance. I buried my face in his chest, but he must have felt it because his hand came up to my head, cupping the back of it as he rocked gently, his lips coming to rest on the top of my head, pressing into my hair in a comforting and loving gesture. 

The song ended much too soon, and as we slowed, pulling apart, the crowd clapped, but from the way they looked between us and the band, it was hard to tell who for. Embarrassed, I cleared my throat and smiled up to him. “Aaron?” He Looked down to me, his hand on my hips. “I’m cold.” It had been nearly two hours in the cold, and I could barely feel my feet in the light snow. 

“My apartment isn’t far from here, why don’t we go back and we can warm up some?” The eagerness wasn’t lost on my face, nor in his attempt at an innocent suggestion. Either way, I wasn’t going to complain. 

*~*~*

Aaron had never been so forward in his life, at least, not to someone he actually cared about. When he and Hayley had been married, he had obviously done the husbandly thing, and continued to flirt with her despite knowing she would be going home with him regardless. And with Beth, she had always been the forward one, not that he was complaining. He was out of practice, and she made it easy. There was something about this time though, this gave them both an out. 

It wasn’t hard to see that the two of them were interested in the other, hell, a crowd had all but gathered around them while they danced. They hadn’t done anything fancy, but you could feel the emotions rolling off them, grief, love, nostalgia, all of it drawing people in. (Y/n) had that way about her. But the innocent request, and his just as innocent reply, would fall on most people as a couple going home for the night. But for them, it meant so much more. 

(Y/n) hung off his arm as they walked, a cold wind blustering over the open fields of D.C.s streets forcing her to turn her head into his shoulder when her hair whipped around her. She laughed, not bothered, her face tinted a light rose. “You alright?” He asked, laughing a bit himself as he turned to shield her from the gust. 

She nodded, laughing again. “It’s ruined my hair but I’m fine.” She giggled, pulling her head up when the wind died down. Her eyes were bright, a cheerful light returning to them. He hadn’t seen it since they had met, and if there was a way he could fall more head over heels for her, he had just done it. 

His apartment block appeared a few blocks later, and when he guided her up the stairs, he watched with adoration as she hopped from foot to foot to kick off the snow and gain some feeling back. His keys jangled in the lock, and a few short climbs later, they made it to his front door, where she stepped aside to allow him to open it. 

Aaron held the door for her, and she ducked under his arm and stood slightly off to the side, just inside the door, reaching to her head to pull off her hat and scarf. He made his way across the room, entering the code on his gun safe before he lifted his leg, pulling his side arm out and stowing it away carefully. 

*~*~*

My heart stopped as I watched Aaron bend and then pull out a gun I had not seen. My hands had paused in the air, my scarf half removed, my coat carefully draped over a chair. Something had come over me when we walked into the apartment, the part of me that made sure not to leave a mess, or too much of a trace. I don’t know why, but I had a sudden feeling of dread when I watched him, an evil part of my brain making a flash of panic run through my veins. Had he caught me? Was this all a trick? Did they know about the Colonel? 

When he turned to face me, the thought had not made its way fully out of my mind yet, and Aaron caught my gaze. “(Y/n)? Are you alright?” I blinked a few times, taking a breath and trying to put on a convincing face. 

“What kind of guy goes on a first date strapped?” I pulled my scarf off the rest of the way, letting it join my coat on the chair. Aaron’s face twisted in confusion, asking me without words to explain. “Armed.” I supplied and he made a face of understanding, before smiling sheepishly. 

“Habit.” He offered, rubbing his arms as he pulled his jacket off and pushed up his sweater sleeves. “Can I get you a drink? Coffee,tea, wine?” I nodded, moving to take a step but realized a moment later my boots were soaked. I kicked them off, leaning them against the wall out of the way. I could feel Aaron watching me, and my eyes flicked up to his to see what he was looking at. He looked almost sad, and I tilted my head in confusion it was my turn to make sure _He_ was okay. 

“Aaron?” He shook his head kindly, then turned, moving to the kitsch to retrieve our coffees. I heard him pull out the bag for the machine, and once I was down to just my jeans and sweater, I padded after him, walking carefully so as not to make too much noise. There was no sneaking up on him, though. And when I came up beside him, what normally made Will, or even JJ if I was lucky, jump, only made his head turn to smile at me. “You have a question you want to ask.” I said more than questioned and he paused in his movements, before nodding, the methodical steps to making coffee becoming second to his words. 

“You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to.” He started, and I nodded. 

“I _won’t_ answer if I don’t want to.” I replied calmly, which earned me a flash of pride in his eyes. 

“Why were you sent to the Girls Academy?” My mouth went dry, but instead of shutting down like I normally did when JJ pressed, I felt like I was safe to talk about it. 

“It was a week before my 15th birthday.” 

_“You ungrateful little_ brat! _.” My stepmother yelled, taking a step towards me, holding the paper I had found in her desk above her, as if she was ready to strike me._

_“You told my dad that the entire family was going on a vacation for my birthday! My name isn’t on any of those tickets! Only your kids, and my dad! You lied.” I seethed, trying to grab my evidence from her hand, hoping that my father’s truck would roll up the driveway and catch her in the act._

_“Of all the things I do for you, all the money I spend to make sure that you’re fed, clothed, and have everything you need, you’re going to get pissy because I didn’t spend another $500 to bring you with us!?” The words were a punch in the gut, and I felt tears welling against my will. “All you have done since your father and I got married is complain, and whine, and cry for your dead mother! She’s dead (Y/n). She has been for five years!”_

_I was shocked. I knew she was evil, that much was so clear that I didn’t even have to try to find things she had done, but this…. We never talked about my mother. My father had shut down all conversation of her in front of him, so she only brought her up to hurt me, but she had never said her next words before._

_“It’s time you forget about her and move on! Your father certainly has.” I saw red, and my hands moved faster than my mind as I lunged for her, my hands fisting in the silky fabric of her blouse, my weight catching her off guard as she fell back. I wasn’t strong at 15, but I could pack a nasty punch if I tried, and boy was I trying. I only landed a few good ones before I was lifted into the air by my belt, my father pulling me off of her where she lay screaming and bleeding on the ground._

_I looked up to see one of my stepbrothers watching, he was only seven at the time, staring with wide eyes as his mother lay on the floor. I begged him to explain, to tell my dad what he saw, but the words couldn’t leave my mouth around my own agonized screams._

The smell of coffee filtered through the air and brought me back from that day, Aaron was standing in front of me, leaning back against the counter as I sat on the edge of a table, playing with my hands. “What she said was cruel.” He said finally and I only nodded. “And incredibly wrong.” I looked up at that. “You have every right to grieve for however long you need to, there is no right or wrong time to stop, someday it just… does.” 

I shrugged. “I made it about me.” I said disconnectedly.

“How is it not about you?” He insisted, and I just averted my eyes. I heard him take a step forward though, and then felt his wind cold hand on my face. I leaned into it, and he tilted my chin up to him. There was a silent admission, that I had never really made my peace with what happened. That I still blamed myself for that night even though in actuality it had nothing to do with me. So many, my step mother included, insisted that my father was the one grieving the most, as he had loved my mother by choice, and she had loved me out of responsibility. None of these words left me though, I was too busy trying to get my heart rate under control as Aaron stepped towards me, standing between my legs where I sat on the table as he kissed me, his lips meeting mine shortly before. 

My eyes slipped closed, and the fear of being caught left my mind, there was no one to catch us save- “Wait… what about Jack?” Aaron paused only to allow me to speak, before his lips trailed down the side of my face down to my neck where he latched on and kissed gently. 

“At a friend’s house.” I all but heard him smirk.

“The night going according to plan then?” I teased, before I heard him laugh against my skin. 

“Actually, he made his own plans, but I’m not about to ruin the opportunity.” I felt a heat rise in my core, nervous for the first time. Why? I had no idea, I had slept with plenty of men, some much older than him and felt nothing (Both before and during, if you know what I mean). But something about him made me worried I wouldn’t be good enough, would he see me as just a girl? Was I going to be good enough? “What is it?” He questioned quietly, and I felt my words stick in my throat. 

*~*~*

Those agonizing few seconds between when he asked the question, and when she answered him dragged on. Was she regretting it? Did she want to stop? He went to pull away, but her hand latched onto his shirt and he stopped, curious. “Would you believe me if I said I was nervous?” She replied, her voice shaking with her admission. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Nervous? About what?” He said quietly, moving his free hand from where it had landed on her hip to her hand. “About me?” His own self consciousness rose to the surface at that but he beat it back with as much vigor as he could. She shook her head though, bringing his upper body closer with the shirt to kiss him on the cheek. 

“No, not about you, about me.” His brow furrowed, what could she possibly be nervous about? She was the most stunning girl he had laid eyes on in a long time, and every free thought he had had since she came into his life had been enveloped by her. It was almost concerning how much she filled his mind, like he was no better than one of those obsessed psychopaths he put away.

“(Y/n), you have nothing to be worried about, you are absolutely stunning.” He replied honestly and he couldn’t help but smile at the way her face went bright red and she ducked her head. 

“Really?” The surprise and doubt in her voice was not lost on him, and he once again felt that rising anger at the men she had been with before that made her feel like she was anything less than the beautiful creature she was. 

“Let me prove it to you.” He replied with a determination that shocked even him. She nodded lightly, and before he knew what he was doing, he had scooped her up by her thighs, reveling in the squeak of surprise she made as she latched on to him, holding on as he walked her thorough the kitchen, back through the living room and into his bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could possibly go wrong?

I had gotten used to feeling safe in Aaron’s presence, but in his arms I felt this strange mix of safe and terrified. He placed me on the bed like I was fragile, and when his hands left my hips where they had been to steady me, and traveled up to brush over my neck I felt my pulse racing despite my best efforts to calm myself down. His large brown eyes looked down at me, and within them I could see my own fears reflected. He was scared too, maybe that he would hurt me, or maybe I would push him away. 

I reached my hand up cup his face pulling him in and pressing my lips to his, to quell those fears from his mind. My eyes slipped closed and for the first time since my apartment I didn’t feel like we were rushed, like we had to be careful in case someone walked in on us. For now, we could take our time. So we did. 

Aaron’s hand started down over my shoulders, and I understood the silent command to lay back in the motion. He followed me down, climbing over me, careful not to put too much pressure on any one part of me, he was still afraid to touch me too quickly. I sighed, pulling away to arch into his chest as his hands drifted along my sides, whispering his name quietly. “You won’t break me.” I added, a slight giggle in my voice. 

He seemed to relax at that, kind of impressed I read him so easily. “That obvious huh?” I smiled, running my hands up his chest, and tugged on the first button, freeing it enough to expose the white undershirt. 

“You’re not as hard to read as you think, Aaron.” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. “All men are the same, when it comes down to it.” He quirked his eyebrow, bracing himself above me with one arm by my ear as he brushed some hair from my face. 

“Forgive me for being predictable.” he replied sarcastically and I just smiled, pulling him down for another kiss, this time sighing when I felt his heavy body on mine. The constriction intoxicating. With Aaron’s confidence returned to him, I used my hands to work more on his buttons, pulling his shirt from his waistband once they were all done. He sat up on his knees, towering over me as he pulled it off. I bit my lip, watching as his arms and muscles moved. He smirked and I shrugged reading his smart comment on his lips. 

“What? Girls are predictable too.” He laughed, an incredible sound, and I sat up to meet him, pulling him back to my lips, but he refused, a heavy hand landing on my chest as he pushed me back sharply. I yelped at the sudden movement and stared up at him with anticipation as he expertly slipped his belt through the loops and coiled it up, before placing it on the side table. My eyes followed it and I heard him chuckle darkly. 

“Predictable.” My eyes snapped up to his and I glared at him. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped back, defensive despite him being 100% correct. Aaron’s eyebrow shot up and in a second he was on me, a hand fisting into my hair as he tilted it back, his free hand landing lightly on my neck. I stilled, the endorphins flooding my system in a second and I let out a breathy moan, sucking in a breath. As soon as he had done it he released me, bringing instead his lips to take the place of where his hand had been, drifting them over my skin. “Caught me.” I replied shakily. 

“Oh like it was a big secret? You should have seen how your eyes dilated when I pulled out my cuffs.” His eyes flicked up to mine as he crossed my collarbones to the opposite side of my neck. I huffed, running my hand through his hair as he laid claim to my neck. 

I smirked. “You should have seen yours when I called you ‘Sir’ at the Food Lion.” He paused, pulling up to look down at me seriously. I only grinned, making a face wince. “Ohhh busted.” I teased which only made his eyes narrow. I bit my lip in anticipation of his reaction, but like the dutifully trained agent he was, he schooled his features and shrugged. I frowned, not getting the reaction from him I was hoping for. Which obviously was why he did it. 

To distract me, his hands drifted down my body once more, the heat and pressure from them on my side making me shiver as they made their way to my jeans where he pulled open the button, allowing me to kick them off as he helped me with my shirt. I knew what he was doing only seconds after he had done it. “It’s healed well.” He whispered quietly, concern dripping in his words. 

“Can we not talk about that? Please?” I begged, my voice cracking. His eyes were on mine in an instant, searching them for the answers I would never tell him. 

“Okay.” He said quietly. Kissing me gently at first, as my arms wrapped around his neck. With only a single layer of clothing between us, I felt my breathing deepen at the warmth emanating from him. I parted my legs further, allowing him the space to slot between them, and he gladly took the invitation and I sighed at the slight friction I gained. 

His kiss became deeper when he heard the little noises coming from me and I felt his grip on my hips tighten. I was tired of waiting for him to move more, so I pushed up under him, catching him off balance as I tilted him over, and let his back bounce on the bed before I climbed over him. “Sorry, this was taking a bit too long for me.” I teased, pulling his undershirt off and tossing it over the edge of the bed. I heard him kick off his pants, and as I sat back I felt the bulge in his boxers pressing up, demanding my attention. 

Arching my back attractively I pulled the hair band off my arm, and tied up my hair, watching with a sick kind of glee at how his face flushed and his mouth parted. I wasn’t much of a stretch for me to assume that I was probably the youngest girl he had been with in some time. I was half his age first of all, and from what JJ had explained when I had subtlety mentioned it, he hadn’t dated much after his divorce, and even less after the murder. There was a fire in his eyes that screamed at me to let him look, just for a moment, so I did. 

I turned this way and that making it seem as though I was fixing my hair to a more comfortable updo. I heard him groan and when his hips shifted I was knocked forward and I had to brace myself on the bed to keep from smashing into him. Of course, now my breasts were all but in his face the dark purple lace bra cupping my skin perfectly. He was trying desperately not to stare, his eyes locked considerately on mine and I just rolled my eyes, using one of my hands to grab one of his from my hips and bring it up to cup my left breast. 

He looked up to me unsure, but when my eyes fluttered closed and I bit my lip, a husky whine leaving my lips he became more confident, his thumb brushing over the top of the cup, dragging over the skin and leaving goosebumps in his wake. I stayed like that for a moment, feeling his hand weighing the heavy flesh in his hand, and before I knew it I was rocking my hips over his slowly, heavy breaths leaving me with each pass. Aaron’s chest was rising and falling in time with mine, and I opened my eyes once more to meet his. 

This must have been what he was waiting for, because he spoke quietly. “Lay on your back.” I nodded, rolling off him as he sat up, positioning myself just below the pillows. He stepped off the bed, retrieving something from the side table, which by the sound of foil ripping I understood was a condom. I sighed shakily, nervous and excited at the same time. He returned to my side, sans his boxers, and in a swift movement rolled the latex down his length which I found myself staring at. 

My estimates from what I could feel were nearly on the money, and I wasn’t disappointed. He caught my eye again, and like any man, the flash of nervousness that crossed his eyes was soon replaced by pride at his own manhood. “Take it off.” He said, his voice deeper and harsher now and I hurried to obey, lifting my chest to reach behind me and unclip the bra. I dropped it to the side, and reached my hands down to pull off the thong but Aaron’s sharp voice stopped me. “No. Leave it on.” my hands retreated and cupped my own chest, not to cover myself but to make myself smaller on his bed as he returned to his position between my legs. 

Aaron’s hand landed on my thigh and I jumped despite myself, slipping easily into that space of subdued compliance that had only happened a few times in my short life. My breath hitched and my eyes watched his every move carefully as the hand drifted down and his thumb brushed over the lace front of the thong lightly. My breath caught in my throat once more and I felt my hips buck up into his hand. I was sensitive, and he knew it. Yes I had had sex recently- though if anyone could really consider that sex more than just porn acting was up for debate, the 60 year old CEO was certainly convinced- but in reality, I hadn’t come from sex with another person in months, possibly even a year at this point.   
So to say I was more than ready to end that dry spell -excuse the pun- was an understatement. Aaron took pity on me, allowing one of his fingers to dip into my entrance to test to see if I was ready. I arched, my hands fisting into the sheets rather dramatically at the minimal contact. But could you blame me? For the better part of a semester I had been woken up almost nightly by incredibly raunchy scenarios of the man who was currently fingering me, and not even my extensive collection of toys would alleviate the pressure. I whispered his name, and he stopped, the teasing tone in his words not lost on me as he asked me to repeat my words. “Oh you bastard.” I snapped, which earned me a surprisingly sharp and well placed slap to the top of my thigh. I squeaked, my eyes wide as I rephrased my outburst. “Aaron, please!” 

It seemed like the torture had been enough for him too, his member was straining and purple inside the condom skin, as his hand languidly brushed up and down it. Using the finger that was already inside me, he pushed the side of my thong over, giving him the space to line himself up. I held my breath, my lip held tightly in my between my teeth as he pressed forward. I opened my legs further, giving him more room to move as he disappeared inch by inch into me. 

Aaron’s hands lifted my hips, resting my ass on his thighs as he finally seated himself inside. We both took a moment, breathing each other’s air as we waited, the feeling too much. We both knew it would be over too soon if we moved right away, so instead, Aaron pressed his lips to mine in a desperate attempt to distract himself from the feeling of me wrapped around him. I whimpered, the angle and an absentminded shifting of his hips sending a sharp white hot spark of pleasure through me. I felt his hand twitch on my hip and his own hips tense as he tried to hold back. 

I pulled away from him, dropping my head back into the pillows and exposed my neck, my hands wrapping around his wrists in a tight grip begging him silently to move. He finally relented, adjusting his position to give him the room to move, starting at a slow pace to feel me out. My breathing came in sharp huffs, short whines the only sounds I could make as I tried to focus on anything else to last. I felt his hand on my face, forcing my head down so he could meet my eyes. I was drawn into them instantly, and in the semi dark of the room, lit only by the living room light filtering through the open door. We both paused, seeming to remember ourselves, and where we are, and who we’re with. 

There was a small moment of hesitation between the two of us, but as soon as it appeared it was washed away, and I heard Aaron swear quietly. He adjusted his position again and I sucked in a breath, which was quickly pushed out of me by the harsh pull and then push of his hips and the relieved sigh that devolved into a groan almost as soon as it started. I cried out, pushing back against him and adjusting my feet to hook around the back of him. 

Aaron lent forward, his left hand bracing by the side of my head, while his right hand came to brush hair out of my face. He was being too kind to me. I wasn’t fragile, and I didn’t want this to be sweet. We had other days to do that, but JJ was expecting me home in an hour. “Aaron.” I moaned, one of my hands lifting from the sheets to grip his wrist, and pull his hand away from my face. He watched me carefully as I guided his hand down to that spot between my legs, wrapping around it to encourage him to move. He needed no further instruction, so the grip on his hand turned quickly to my attempt to hold on to something as he traced slow circles over my clit. He may have been out of practice, but he was by no means inexperienced. 

“In a hurry?” He teased, and I glared at him when his motions didn’t match the obvious tension in mine. 

I decided that now was the best time to turn on the desperate act, which at this point, wasn’t an act. “Aaron, please. I… I’ve… please.” His hips slowed even further and I wanted to scream. I could feel him examining my face and I shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny. “I need you. Please.” That seemed to be enough for him, the both of us having waited long enough to chase the fall over this cliff. Aaron’s head dipped down and I felt his lips on my collar bone as his hand between my legs worked in tight circles, working in time with his thrusts that set an even and steady pace. My arms wrapped around him as I chased the high, but in a flurry of movement that took me by surprise I found myself instead face down on the bed, my hips propped up and a heavy hand on the back of my head, fisted into my hair. 

The movement was at first something unexpected, the uncharacteristic roughness finally matching his words. His bite matching his bark intoxicatingly. I pulled at the sheets, whining as I felt his fingers bruise into my hips. The pornographic sound of his hips hitting mine became louder now that it wasn’t muffled by the sheets. My breath came in harsh huffs each time his body connected with mine, coming only moments after his. I felt the heat building in me, and I pushed against his hand on my head and he let me up, the hand transferring to the bed so that he could hover over me. Not giving me much room to move I pressed against his back reaching up over my shoulder to haphazardly fist in his hair. 

The resulting growl of appreciation made my already jelly knees weak, and with a cry of his name I fell over the edge, stiffening under him as he used me to find his own end. His hand left my hip, and curled around my body to hold me up his fingers fisting into the flesh of my chest. A few more harsh snaps of his hips and I felt his abdomen tighten and his hips still despite him trying to fight through it to get what little remaining pleasure he could. 

The condom, though critical and non negotiable condition of this encounter, robbed me of the feeling of him filling me in the way that I so wanted and I whined at the lost feeling. A few remaining after shocks twitched through us, and all too soon Aaron pulled out and away from me. I couldn’t see him, my body being lowered carefully to the bed before he stood and supposedly discarded the used protection. I took a breath, pushing myself up onto my knees, righting myself quickly. 

Aaron returned, having at some point grabbed a pair of jeans and slipped them on, the fly open being held up only by his hips. He paused, watching me as I reached for my own jeans and socks, slipping them on as I glanced at the clock. “You’re leaving?” He asked, and I froze, looking over my shoulder at him and sending him a bleary, dazed smile. 

“Though I would love to stay and go for round two, JJ’s expecting me home by eleven.” The clock blinking out ten fifteen made me search for my shirt a little faster. I heard Aaron huff a laugh and he sighed, leaning his shoulder against the wall while he watched me. I could feel him watching me but I didn’t say anything. Though he could tell from my hyper aware movements that I wasn’t oblivious to his ogling. 

“Are you going to tell her?” He asked suddenly and I paused, standing as I adjusted my bra, pulling my shirt over my head. “About this?” 

“About us… you mean.” I pulled my arms around myself as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, adjusting my hair to give me the time to think. “Aaron… I…” 

He pushed off of the wall and held up his hands to stop my words in their tracks. It was a good thing too because I didn’t know what I was going to say, and that meant it was most likely not going to be kind, or what I was trying to say. “You don’t have to, I was just asking.” He smiled kindly, his hands resting on my shoulder as he kissed my neck. I noticed then that he had avoided leaving any marks where they could be seen. While the action was meant to be protection for us both, I found it strangely erotic. “In case I needed to brace myself for work tomorrow.” 

I smiled, blinking away my emotions nervously. “ I need to figure out how to say it, in a way that won’t….” I searched for the words but came up empty. There were so many things I wanted to say. Wouldn’t freak her out, wouldn’t piss her off, wouldn’t make it so that I was cut off from the family completely. He knew JJ, but I knew Jen. And she could be vindictive and petty when she wanted to be. I couldn’t lose what little I had left, and what little I had built. So if, for now, it had to remain in this room, then so be it. 

Aaron understood, and he pulled away, allowing me to clean myself up. He returned with my coat and helped me slip it on. “I called you a taxi, It will be here in about ten minutes.” I nodded, zipping up the coat and turning in his hands to face him. 

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” He smiled, dipping his head to kiss me. 

“So… can we do this again?” I grinned against his lips and pulled away, my bottom lip pulled between my teeth. 

“I guess so.” The flash of a challenge in his eyes was enough to make me want to pull off my coat again but the less questions JJ asked, the better. And missing my “curfew” was only going to make it worse. 

“Get out of here before I make you late.” I smirked while he pulled open the door, letting me out into the hallway. 

“Is that a promise?” I retorted and his hand shot out, pulling me close to him so he could land a fiery kiss on my lips before he turned me around and landed a solid smack on my ass. I giggled, hurrying up the hall and scurrying down the stairs, making it to the curb just as the taxi pulled up.


	9. Chapter 9

I tiptoed toward the door of Will and Jennifer’s house, the lights in a majority of the house dark, the snow muffling every sound so that I was hyper aware of each one I made that broke the stillness. I had made it back before my “curfew” though I really didn’t know why I was panicking, I was in my mid twenties, no one was going to ground me if I was late. I closed the door quickly behind me after shuffling in and keyed in the alarm code before it went off, shrugging my coat to the floor and hung it up, pulling off my boots as I did trying to place them on the ground quietly. The light for the front hall flicked on and I froze, looking over my shoulder to see Will watching me, leaning against the wall as he did. What did I say about not being grounded? 

“You went to see Aaron, didn’t you.” He said more than asked. I glared at him, returning my guilty expression to my shoes. “How much longer are you gonna be sneakin’ around, (Y/n)?” I sighed, standing straighter. 

“How much longer are you going to act like my dad?” I shot back, watching his reaction in the reflection of the glass by the door. His face fell then a wash of guilt fell over his face. 

“You know that’s not what I’m tryin’ to do. You’re young, and you’re playin’ with fire. You have to know that.” I turned, crossing my arms over my chest. 

“So what do you suggest I do, Will?” I retorted angrily. “I… enjoy being with Aaron, and he enjoys being with me.” 

“Because he doesn’t know the truth!” his voice stayed aggravatingly level. I wished he’d yell at me. “You need to tell him before this gets anymore out of control.” I balked at the notion that this was out of control, but he was right. Aaron didn’t know a huge part of my life, mostly because he could neither protect me from it, nor be associated with me if he did. I was selfishly putting him in an awkward position because I wanted his attention. My hands dropped to my sides. “Just… think about what I said, alright darlin’?” He came up to me at that, kissing the side of my head before he dismissed himself and climbed the stairs to their bedroom. I watched him go, shifting uncomfortably in my spot. 

I hated when he was right. 

I had just made it back to my room when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and without looking I answered in hushed tones. _“And how’s my favourite girl doing?_ ” Arnie. 

“What do you want Arnie.” I retorted, and I heard him tisk. 

_” Marcus tells me you’ve started hanging around with that Fed. What’s his name? Aaron Hotchner?”_ My heart dropped and I felt my throat close. 

“I haven’t told him anything.” I responded quietly. “I swear.” 

_“I know you haven’t. Because it would be a shame if something were to happen to him, or his son… what’s his name?”_ my heart pounded painfully. _“Jack? I would hate to see that. You know how much I love children.”_ I felt my stomach flip. 

“Arnie, please.” I begged, all fight lost from me. 

_“Well, since you haven’t told him anything there isn’t much for him or you to worry about is there? No, I didn’t call for that. I called to tell you you have a job. Good news is that you’re not far. Listen carefully and do this right and you will never hear from me again.”_ I dared to let hope rise in me and I nodded, remembering moments later he couldn’t see me and answered in the affirmative. 

*~*~*~*

Aaron’s phone rang on the kitchen counter that next afternoon, he had just cleaned out Jack’s lunch box and his son was sitting on the couch having a snack. He turned to check on him, then reached for his work phone, checking the ID, his brow furrowing at the restricted number. “Agent Hotchner.” 

_“I need you to listen very carefully.”_ A calm, yet determined voice sounded on the other line, and it immediately put Aaron on edge. 

“Who is this?” He demanded, checking over his shoulder that Jack hadn’t heard him and moved out of sight. 

_“I’m the guy who knows what happened at that Air Force Academy, and I know that it’s about to happen again.”_ Aaron’s interest was piqued, and he took a breath. The voice rightly took that as his cue to continue. _“Someone is about to break into the Federal Reserve. Or, at least, the personnel files.”_ Aaron nearly rolled his eyes. There was no way in hell anyone could get into those buildings that wasn’t meant to be there. 

“I find that hard to believe.” He retorted, almost ready to hang up. 

_“I know because I’m the get away car.”_ Aaron froze. _“Better hurry Agent Hotchner, a lot of people are gonna lose a lot of money.”_ The line went dead but Aaron was rooted to the spot for a good three seconds before he moved, retrieving his weapon from the safe as he pressed the speed dial on his phone for Penelope. 

_“Sir?”_

“Get the team to Quantico, and alert the Federal Reserve there’s been a breach.” 

_“Wha? Oh… Okay. Yep. On it.”_

Aaron had never moved faster in his life, save for the day Hailey was killed. Something in him was screaming that something was terribly, horribly wrong. 

*~*~*~*

“Welcome Agent Jareau.” I smiled awkwardly, clearing my throat and brushed the box dye job of my hair out of my face as the guard returned the stolen identification back to me. I adjusted the strap on my bag and surged forward with purpose. Confidence was key, if I looked like I belonged no one would say a thing. I even pulled out my phone, pretending to read my email as I stepped into the elevator and pressed the button to go down to the HR department. I checked my watch. I had about seven minutes before the FBI would get an alert that a stolen ID was used. No doubt JJ had reported it missing when she got to work, and with that genius they had running IT, I was screwed. So seven was all I had. 

I had no idea how Arnie and his team knew what they did about these systems, it all sounded very Mission Impossible to me. But my job wasn’t to question, it was to get the information and get out. The USB in my pocket had a virus that could download the entire database in a matter of moments. I just had to plug it in to the right port and then get the fuck out. The elevator emptied, and I took that chance to pull on my nitrile gloves, and wipe them down with hand sanitizer. I pulled out the USB and wiped it down as well. Making sure not to leave any fibers or anything that could be found. 

When the doors opened, I smiled politely to the people I passed and made my way to the mainframe room, using the ID to open the door and pushed my way in. I purposefully strode my way to the back of the room and found the USB slots on the back corner. Of course the first time in my life it went in the first try it was now, and I nodded to myself as if to say that it was done. 

It was then that the lights shut off, and a red emergency light flicked on. “No! No no no.” I should have had more time. I had to have more time. I pulled out the USB, confident that the virus had taken place already. I don’t know what made me glance down at the surface more carefully, but when I did I noticed something that made me sick to my stomach. The stick was empty. Not just empty, but broken. It had never had a virus on it in the first place. This had been a set up. Arnie set me up. 

I heard the banging of doors down the hall and felt bile rise in my throat. It was only a matter of time before they found me. I decided that biting the proverbial bullet was much better than the real one, so choking back tears of fear and anger, I pushed open the server room door and raised my hands high above my head and went down to my knees. I closed my eyes against the bright barrel lights and waited. “Who are you?!” They demanded. 

“My name is (Y/n) (L/n). I was sent here against my will to put this virus into the mainframe I was set up, please help me.” I heard bootsteps and I winced when I felt my hand being pulled down behind my back, clipped into metal cuffs roughly before I was pulled to my feet. 

*~*~*~*

Aaron dropped the headset he was holding, taking a shaky step back as he stared at the video being streamed from the team leader’s body cam. The entire team in the SWAT truck sat, shocked at what they saw. The woman they had seen on the surveillance, and the one who had used JJ’s credentials was none other than (Y/n). 

“What did she say?” Morgan asked, looking to anyone else for direction. 

“She was sent against her will.” Spencer replied, his eyes glued to the screen. JJ was silent, staring in betrayed anger at her cousin’s profile as she was searched, the eyes staring back at her in the dark detached and vacant. 

“By who?” Morgan replied, trying to hide his desperation behind his confusion. 

“We’re about to find out.” Aaron replied, having collected himself, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

“You can’t do this.” Rossi said, and the withering glare that Aaron shot his way did nothing. “I’m not asking.” Aaron finally relented and Dave turned on his heel, making his way down the stairs to greet the SWAT team and their captive. 

*~*~*~*

I don’t know what was worse. Seeing Dave and realizing that it was JJ’s team that responded, or passing the truck that housed them all to see Aaron holding his head in his hand, forcing himself not to look out the door at me. I wanted to cry out to him, but not only would that screw him over, but it would only remind him that it was in fact, me. 

I was led into a secure room, Dave having taken custody of me shortly after I was brought up. And he was much kinder when he guided me to my seat than the officer who had me before would have been. I stared at the table before me while he uncuffed me, changing it so that one of my hands was connected to the table. Then he took his place between me and the glass wall where no doubt JJ and Aaron were hiding. I didn’t dare look at it. 

“(Y/n).” Dave started, sighing deeply after he said my name. “What are you doing?” 

I shook my head, trying to will away the tears, they wouldn’t help me now. Nothing would. “I was set up.” I started, knowing how stupid I sounded. “He said if I didn’t do this, he was gonna-” My heart dropped once more and my stomach once more flipped. “I had to protect-” I couldn’t get the words out, and they all sounded the same. 

“(Y/n), I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Arnie and Marcus were long gone. I could feel it. They had skipped town the moment I had set foot in the building. Chances were they were already in the air, heading back to Cancun, or Brazil, somewhere where no one would ask questions. 

“I want to talk to Aaron.” I blurted out, and it took the both of us by surprise. 

“I can’t let you do that.” He replied, and I finally met his eyes, mine rimmed red and puffy. 

“Please.” Rossi was about to refuse again when the door opened and my eyes landed on the betrayed face of the man whose arms I had been in the night before. 

“It's fine Dave.” Dave looked between the two of us, then sighed, putting both his hands on the table as he stood and pushed past Aaron. The door closed and suddenly it was the two of us, alone once more, but in much worse circumstances. The silence was unbearable, but I didn't really have a plan on what to say, so I let it stretch. “You wanted to talk. So talk.” He demanded, and I felt my breath hitch. 

“I need to be truthful with you.” I finally managed, and I watched him walk to the back of the room, refusing to sit. 

“Yea, I’d say that’s a good place to start.” He quipped back, and I actually winced at his tone. 

“First, I never lied to you. About any of it.” He knew what I was speaking about, and the tension in his shoulders only grew. 

“Forgive me for not believing that.” I glared at him. 

“Why would I lie?” I demanded, realizing only moments after that I had hundreds of reasons. And I was in the worst position to use that as leverage. “Aaron, I meant every word I said to you.” I insisted, and I watched as he read my body language and finally, visibly relaxed, taking a seat in the chair in front of me. 

“Tell me what's going on here (Y/n).” He pleaded, and I watched as he had to restrain himself from reaching out to me. 

“When my father died, I could barely afford his funeral costs with what he left me. Add on top of that the cost of his palliative care, the broker fees for selling his house, and all his things, plus all the other fees that I didn’t even realize he was paying, plus my school, I was in a bad spot.” He listened with rapt attention, his eyes darting around my face looking for any sign of deception, which I knew he would never find. “I… I had to borrow money, and the only person I could ask was…” I swallowed, bracing myself. “Was my old Pimp.” I looked away from him. You could hear a pin drop in another room with how silent it went. “Arnie McGillicutti.” Aaron sighed, leaning back in the chair. 

“We know of him. We’ve been watching his finances for some time.” My eyes snapped back to him and it was my turn to search for lies. He was much better at hiding his emotions than I was. “So when you said your… ‘bank’ was giving you trouble.” 

“I meant him.” I replied, nodding. “I owed him nearly a hundred thousand dollars. I could pay for some of it, about ten grand out of pocket, but he kept adding interest.” I felt tears in my eyes again and the panic returned. “So he made me work again.” 

“The Air Force Academy?” I nodded. 

“And others, smaller ones. Smaller jobs. I had gotten most of my debt paid off. This was the last part.” I said, indicating with my free hand to the reserve. 

“Breaking into the Federal Reserve was worth less than a hundred thousand dollars?” He asked, scoffing. 

“No.” I locked eyes with him purposefully, then they darted away. “But saving you and Jack was.” All colour drained from his face and he leaned forward again. 

“What do you mean?” 

“He knew about Jack, and about you. And Henry. He…” I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, pressure building behind them, making my head ache. 

“You said he set you up.” He asked, changing the topic of the conversation. I nodded sighing heavily, tears streaming freely. 

“He said that the drive I had contained a virus that would download the personnel files from the database and send it to their computers. But the drive I had was broken, probably 15 years old and empty. He sent me in here to get me caught.” I furrowed my brows, looking at Aaron curiously. “How did you guys get here so quickly?” 

“I got a tip about an hour ago.” He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to calm his spinning mind no doubt. 

“I’m going to prison, aren’t I?” I finally asked when the silence was too long for me to stand. 

Aaron sighed, taking a moment to steady himself before he looked up to me and said the one word I knew was coming, but never expected. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, I am so sorry that this is so late, and that the chapters aren't very good at all. I am not in a good place mentally at all, and I honestly am just trying to get this out and over with. You deserve better and I am so sorry, but I hope this is okay.


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